Essay by candylandcutie January 2007

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It's almost midnight and I still lay awake, outside my window I look at the broken sky, every night in the sky I look for a shining star, the one that I have not found yet. I don't quite remember where and when I lost it. It appears that my star has grown tired of this gruesome world and has lost its ability to shine. The sound of the angry rain pattering upon the rocky road like a thousand bombs that have lost their purpose. The tapping of the rain against my window and the sound of furious thunder brings a sudden shiver into my body. For a moment I turn my head towards the table at the corner of my bedroom, on the table there stands seven bottles of medicine with various colors, almost all of the colors of the rainbow, this draws my attention. What beautiful colors but I wish they weren't medicine.

I dissected a long sigh away and without caution the big drops of my tears tumbled onto my cheeks. Although even my tears cannot mend my empty and broken soul, it feels as if the rain and my tears want to compose in a symphony of wounded, and shattered hearts. Now I'm left with nothing but a handful of different colored medicine, that slowly will diminish and destroy me. Millions of unanswered questions run through my head and I keep asking "why?" but never get an answer. I'm left confused and unwilling to think anymore, and spend my days and nights in gruesome sleep. You might ask yourself why I'm so empty and broken hearted.

It all began seven years ago when my family and I decided to emigrate from our homeland to Canada. My husband and I with the belief that freedom, peace...