User Details For: lokisfenris

Essay List
Comments List
  • Spelling correction

    *essay*I'm so cixelsyd!
    • 11/06/2004
    • 14:43:48
    • Score: 2 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
  • Elergy?

    I think you meant to write Elegy...
    • 05/06/2004
    • 21:39:14
    • Score: 2 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
  • Better

    This is much better than "A Rose for Emily" but you still don't talk about who wrote the original piece or anything! Your book reports could use a lot more in-depth analysis!
    • 05/06/2004
    • 13:03:36
    • Score: 2 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
  • GAH!

    Who is this about? Is this a book report? If so, why didn't you give credit? Who wrote the original text? This thing has a slew of problems! Why were the townspeople hiding Emily's actions? Who is this Emily??? Jesus... this is terrible!
    • 05/06/2004
    • 13:00:17
    • Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
  • Kirk...

    jeez... Kirk Cobain... the Kurt Cobain ninjas will get you for that!
    • 04/06/2004
    • 21:11:04
    • Score: 5 out of 7 people found this comment useful.
  • Good job!

    Very good esay, although I thought it was more of an article. The only problem is that I felt it lacked a proper conclusion. Summarize who is for and who is against the war, and what is likely to occur. You might also want to bring this up to date a bit...
    • 04/06/2004
    • 20:54:46
    • Score: 5 out of 5 people found this comment useful.
  • Sentence structure, mon ami, sentence structure.

    An intersting essay, although you have a HUGE problem with sentence structure. You've got a few nonsensical sentences, and several run-ons. A good essay though.
    • 04/06/2004
    • 20:20:45
    • Score: 3 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
  • A Pantoum perhaps?

    Kudos though, nice poem. If you like poetry, I strongly suggest that you take a class in Creative Writing, or at least look into some forms. I think you\'d do well with sonnets. Try Sestinas, they\'re fun. I think this poem might actually do very well as a Pantoum.
    • 04/06/2004
    • 20:02:44
    • Score: 12 out of 12 people found this comment useful.
  • Copyright

    OK, I've seen stuff MUCH worse than this go into Poetry.com's books. Don't you think it would be better to have this published by the International Library of Poetry than give away your copyright to this site?
    • 04/06/2004
    • 19:57:15
    • Score: 8 out of 11 people found this comment useful.
  • It's good... but needs work

    This is a very interesting essay. I definitely liked it, but you could have explained the events that you speak of. Although I knew most of them, I didn't know them all, and so I got lost a couple of times. Also, you're a bit inconsistent. Why were we fighting the facists? It certainly wasn't because we disagreed with their ideaology. Facism is a very powerful and manipulative political system, facism, just like communism was a threat to the US and other world powers.I gave this a smiley, because it's good, but like I said, it still needs work!
    • 03/06/2004
    • 19:27:33
    • Score: 7 out of 7 people found this comment useful.
  • ...

    I'm beginning to get disenchanted. You would benefit from a Creative Writing Course.
    • 02/06/2004
    • 19:51:35
    • Score: 5 out of 5 people found this comment useful.
  • Hmmm...

    Interesting. It has a few grammatical problems. I cannot make a decision about it yet, I\'ll have to read some more of it. On to part 2!
    • 02/06/2004
    • 19:46:57
    • Score: 16 out of 17 people found this comment useful.
  • Hmmm

    Why do I think Oliver Twist? If what you talk about it indeed true, then I am shocked and amazed. I did not know about any of this. I've never seen "street children" and I didn't know that this was a problem. Obviously, though, I remain unconvinced that your point is true. You would benefit from some in-essay source citings. I see by your biblography that you used some sources, but you didn't quote anything in the paper. Your sentence structure could use some work also. I thought that this was a good paper.
    • 01/06/2004
    • 15:59:44
    • Score: 6 out of 6 people found this comment useful.
  • Good, but needs proof

    Certainly the things you say are true, you've got plenty of facts and figures to prove yourself, but you never actually cite where your info comes from. I think this essay is very interesting, but could use some credible proofs. Also, the first two sentences of paragraph 2 should be put into the introduction, they sound like a thesis.
    • 01/06/2004
    • 15:28:24
    • Score: 5 out of 5 people found this comment useful.
  • Hmmm...

    Interesting. There are some grammatical errors that could use fixing, and this is definitely not suitable as an essay. It is however an interesting, though cliche, piece of creative writing.
    • 01/06/2004
    • 15:20:30
    • Score: 2 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
  • Pathos

    THis essay has some good pathos(emotional) appeal, but little ethos(reliability or credabitiy) or logos(logic and factual evidence). Furthermore, I am not at all swayed. What was done to Native Americans was wrong, there can be no doubt about that, but I am not convinced that these huge casinos should not be taxed.
    • 01/06/2004
    • 15:15:34
    • Score: 2 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
  • Essay length

    Just wanted to add that this essay is 4 pages long when double-spaced.
    • 01/06/2004
    • 14:46:56
    • Score: 2 out of 5 people found this comment useful.