Essay- Do people really think they're ugly or are they just fishing for compliments?

Essay by shorty1o1A+, May 2003

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"I'm so stupid!" Chances are that through out your lifetime you've heard someone say this statement or one like it. Also, chances are that you've consoled them by informing them of the exact opposite. Many people use these negative descriptions towards themselves in return for an expected compliment. But does using this simple way of boosting your self esteem have any long term consequences?

Does this form of faulty reassurance really help anybody in the long run? People just use this as a crutch to brace their own esteem and make them feel better about themselves. After a person uses this technique for a while they begin to get attached to the positive responses and the intoxicating feeling of being complimented, causing the high to not last as long and be less powerful. People with low self esteem seem to be the most common to do this and they become more susceptible to compliments.

In the long run I don't believe that getting compliments you expect helps at all, and if it does anything it begins a downward spiral into relying on flattering remarks to better ones self esteem for a short amount of time.

When a person is consistently fishing for compliments it can have grim effects on a person's friendships or relationships. If an individual is constantly negative or practically begging for nice things to be said about them it rubs off on the surrounding company. I know from personal experience that it makes it far less pleasurable to spend time with someone if they are whining all the time about how hard the world is on them. One just has to learn that the world isn't fair and that they have to get used to it, and deal with their problems in a mature manner.