Humbert went threw many emotional breakdowns throughout his lifetime, which seemingly dulled his reactions to life's tragedies. He is writing his story of murder and desire for the jury, who will decide his fate. He writes from his jail cell so that they might gather perspective on his life. You can tell his life has been full of pain right from the start, when he describes his mother's death by saying," Picnic, Lighting." He shows no emotion even when discussing his own mother's death. We find out shortly that he was in love when he was a child. The love of his life passed away when he was merely a teenager. So forever in his mind the perfect women is a 14-year-old girl named Annabel. This desire for his perfect girl will plague his mind until his death. His lust for Dolores, better known as Lolita, even forces him to marry her mother, just to be near to her.
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Stanley Kubrick
Humbert @ Blackbird Ordinary, Miami, FL (2/21/13)This lust is caused by the many tragedies in Humbert's life, and if it wasn't for those tragedies and his emotional pain, Humbert's outcome could have been very different. He realizes that his lust for young girls is wrong; he just wants the jury to understand why he craved such an immoral desire.
Humbert had the love of his life torn away from him in a tragic accident, from that moment he was no longer the child he used to be, he was severely emotionally scared. Annabel's death left a scar so deep in his mind it could never be healed. His whole understanding of what was acceptable, and what was not, was skewed. He was merely trying to regain his past happiness with Annabel. He describes those times with Annabel as the best of his life, and he thinks...