The Misery Behind the Happiness

Essay by hahHigh School, 12th gradeA+, May 2004

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It has been years since I wrote anything at all, although people do see me

writing odd pieces of music. But this time I am writing about my past, the past

that seems so far away and forgotten. I know that this account is hardly going

to interest anyone, but I do need to share my feelings with someone, or in this

case, with something. People see me as a berserk creature talking garrulously

of her past that probably never existed. And that is the belief of ignorance.

They pity me, speak sympathetically and listen to me the gibbering about my past

and my feelings. But do they really want to know about my feelings? No they

don't, but if they did I would never tell them.

Night after night, I sit ruminating about my long-forgotten past. And flashes

of it just appear out of nowhere. A young cheerful, little girl with red hair,

playing in an overgrown garden with her friends and looming against the sky was

her very own castle.

It wasn't much but at least it was hers. So innocent she

looked, having no clue of what her future might hold. She lived happily with

her parents and playing with her headless dolls, while occasionally listening

admiringly to her mother playing her tiara. How she longed to play just like

her mother. And she slowly learned to play it. She had dreams all right, not

about the tiara, but completely different from it. Dreams just like a girl of

her own age would have. Dreams of her Prince Charming sweeping her off her feet

and taking her away to the land of eternal happiness and live

happily ever after.

After years of patiently waiting, he finally entered her life. And a Prince

Charming he was-...