How To Be Romantic

Essay by PaperNerd ContributorCollege, Undergraduate July 2001

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Being romantic does not have to empty your wallet. Romance is a state of mind. If you have the right mindset, you can make cleaning the house romantic. If you have the wrong mindset, you can turn a romantic evening into a fight. Deep down we all want the same things in life. We all have different styles not different needs. To be a romantic, you must express yourself, pay attention (to your significant other), and be creative. Romance is the expression and language of love.

True romance is easy because it's simply an expression of what's already inside you. It is about enjoying your lives together more fully. Some couples view romance as a difficult activity. However, all of us, have the ability to be romantic. It just takes a little effort and practice. Small gestures to your partner make life a bit more special. Holding hands, hugging, caressing and talking are four simple gestures.

Gestures tell your partner that you are accepting the person that you love. At some point however, we begin to think we know everything about the other person. We stop asking and listening to each other. This is the beginning of the death of romance. So, if you want to feel close again, shut off the television, forget the dishes and laundry, sit down, put your arms around your partner and talk. This is necessary in order to achieve trust, closeness and intimacy. That's true romance! Romance should become habit forming. We know that being romantic takes time and effort. However, if we repeat it consistently, after awhile, it will become more natural.

A good relationship needs to pay attention to one another. It's a private world of two people who consider each other the most important person in the whole world. Basically, the two kinds of romance are obligatory romance and optional romance. Both are important, but optional romance is more genuinely romantic. First of all, obligatory romance is the knowledge to remember special occasions. For example, Valentines day, anniversaries and birthdays. Optional romance is important for partners to focus on being playful. For example, surprises, candlelit dinners, sending romantic cards and massages. Each partner has a responsibility to continue to grow. This means that not only do you have to remember special occasions, but you have to go the extra mile to surprise him/her with your thoughtfulness. The romantic relationship is about experiencing it fully and sharing it lovingly.

The best thing you can do if you want to be romantic, is to be creative. Begin buying supplies that you can use to surprise your partner with. Get supplies after Valentines day each year when the items go on clearance. There are chocolates, stickers, books and many other items that you can use throughout the year. You can use these items for many different occasions. For example, make a scroll to just say "I love you," or write "I adore you" on the bathroom mirror with soap. Think of things or ways to spend time together. You can enjoy each other's company by just sitting around relaxing together or staring into a fireplace. You could even sit outside and drink coffee as you search the night skies for shooting stars. If you're feeling restless, then get out and do something together. Your own town offers many attractions to explore. However, since we spend most of our time at home, we should make an effort to make our homes romantic. Have a good supply of candles, turn off the lights, light the candles and presto, you have a romantic setting. Also, nothing can create the mood quite like music. Even a CD or tape of rain, waves crashing on the beach or birds chirping would be very romantic. I urge you to invest a little money into making your own home a romantic get-away, and it sure beats the expense of going out every weekend.

Finally, true love is an expression from the heart. So, loosen up, pay attention and be creative!. The truth is that love comes from the inside out, not the outside in. So, may we all become blissfully drunk on love.