User Details For: SarahL

Essay List
Comments List
  • World History

    Your title suggests that you plan to tackle much more than you actually do. This really could not be considered an essay, and as you do not include any kind of bibliography it's worth is severely limited.
    • 07/02/2008
    • 20:02:42
    • Score: 2 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
  • Euthanasia and Divorce

    You've done a great job here - this essay is far better than many written by (alleged) college students that show up on this site. The essay is well written, you've been concise and thorough, and the end result is a really good one. Well done.
    • 06/11/2007
    • 18:57:20
    • Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
  • Curriculum Trends

    I'm afraid that I found it difficult to take this essay seriously after reading, in your introduction, that "Today's student's can stay awake alot longer...".The rest of the essay is not particularly well written, and therefore is difficult to read. Using the same tense throughout would alleviate this problem.Also, I am not sure that you have really given any concrete ideas here. There are several snippets of information, however all of your information needs to be cited correctly to achieve any semblance of academic authority. Stating that children today need television, for example - how is that an obvious assumption?Enough from me.
    • 28/10/2007
    • 19:30:26
    • Score: 0 out of 0 people found this comment useful.
  • Class

    This is a well written and interesting essay, although I wish you had written more on the topic.My only suggestion would be to make it clear that you are talking about the issue of class in (I'm assuming) Western society. This is a huge issue anyway, and I think the point needs to be made that class is viewed differently in different societies. I know that might sound pretty obvious, but if the point isn't made, it sounds as though you are making sweeping generalisations.An enjoyable essay though - thanks!
    • 28/10/2007
    • 19:13:46
    • Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
  • School Uniforms

    Although this is a short essay, it is well written. You have made your points clearly and obviously have a good idea of how to structure an essay. Well done!
    • 28/10/2007
    • 18:54:00
    • Score: 0 out of 0 people found this comment useful.
  • HPV Vaccination

    I actually think this essay is quite misleading. Primarily, it appears to suggest that parents have no say in their children accepting this vaccination.This is certainly not the case in Australia, where children aged up to 18 years of age must have parental consent to receive the vaccine. The government is providing the vaccine free of charge, however it is obviously not compulsory - as is the case with all vaccines available in Australia.
    • 28/10/2007
    • 18:31:03
    • Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
  • Technology

    This is a very interesting essay topic and you have some good points.However, this is a poorly written essay and subsequently, hard work for a reader. You need to look carefully at what you have written - your first paragraph makes little sense. There are many grammatical errors too.When an essay is poorly written, it does not inspire confidence in the understanding of your topic. Whilst you may have great background knowledge, a greater grammatical and structural foundation would help you to write better essays in the future.
    • 21/10/2007
    • 03:55:08
    • Score: 7 out of 8 people found this comment useful.
  • Abortion

    This essay doesn't make a great start as it incorrectly defines 'abortion'. If you look at your introductory quote, you have offered a definition of stillbirth not abortion.Overall I think you have relied too heavily on internet resources, and it looks as though you have picked up a lot of spelling errors within your quotes.Whilst you are probably on the right track with your argument, you do tend to ramble and so your point is often difficult to find. Some editing, and maybe a read through by someone else could clean up this essay greatly and make it far more readable.
    • 16/10/2007
    • 21:33:33
    • Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
  • Conflict

    You make a good start by identifying themes of conflict in the novel; issues that we still deal with today.However, I don't think you offer clear examples of these themes in subsequent paragraphs. Also, you need to be careful that when you make a statement, you don't contradict yourself later on in your essay. For example, your introduction talks about how rape, racism and homosexuality are "...issues that are rarely addressed in current times" but then go on to say how people "...have become more open about homosexuality and homosexual behavior".Overall, whilst you may have a good knowledge of the novel I think you have struggled to demonstrate that in this essay.
    • 16/10/2007
    • 21:22:55
    • Score: 0 out of 0 people found this comment useful.
  • Divorce

    This is really an opinion piece on how you view divorce.You don't show any evidence to back up any of the claims you make, which is bizarre in a college level essay. You could at least have come up with some statistics of divorce rates, that would have given your paper some semblance of authority on the topic.As it stands, this essay really wouldn't be of much help to anyone unless they were looking for your personal opinion on divorce.
    • 16/10/2007
    • 21:10:31
    • Score: 0 out of 0 people found this comment useful.
  • Homelessness

    Overall, I thought this was a well written and well thought out essay.Saying that, if you are talking about solutions to homelessness, how does using ignorance of the situation work as an example? I understand that ignorance may be a common reaction but don't see how it fits in with the definition of 'solution'.Anyway, don't want to detract too much from what was an interesting paper. Thanks!
    • 16/10/2007
    • 21:02:33
    • Score: 0 out of 0 people found this comment useful.
  • Blanche Dubois

    You don't give a grade level, so I won't be too harsh - but spelling is really important. To have spelled 'Bell Reeve' instead of the correct 'Belle Reve' is careless.I do think you have some good points here, Blanche is certainly a character of great contrast and contradiction. However, I think the examples you give need to be made clearer, within a more structured essay plan.
    • 16/10/2007
    • 20:30:44
    • Score: 0 out of 0 people found this comment useful.
  • Flatfooted

    I have to agree, in part, with the other comment left here. I certainly wouldn't have thought this was college material.This is really not very well written, and I am wondering if this is because English may not be your first language? It certainly sounds as though you have tried to translate from another language, and maybe that is why some of your word choices aren't really suitable.With more structure, you could have come up with better work here - a definition of the phrase, and then some examples of colloquial use. That seems to have been where you were trying to go with this, but didn't quite get there.Keep persevering.
    • 14/10/2007
    • 21:18:44
    • Score: 0 out of 0 people found this comment useful.
  • Film Genres

    You have made some good points here, however this really is not particularly well written.If you could clarify the points you want to make, and write in a clear and concise manner, this essay would be scoring highly instead of rating badly.
    • 14/10/2007
    • 21:08:57
    • Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
  • A couple of changes...

    ...needed here! I think you meant to say that the war with Iran started in a year other than 1908! Just a typing error I'm sure.Also, I think you need to be clearer about attributing your information - maybe this isn''t the norm in middle school. You need to be careful when talking about things like Saddam Hussein's 'support of Al Qaeda and production of destructive weapons as these ideas have been proven to be incorrect.Anyway, overall I think you did a pretty good job and hope my comments are helpful rather than overly critical!
    • 11/10/2007
    • 21:43:14
    • Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
  • Needs...

    ...a little work. You have some really good points here, but a couple of small changes to your essay could make a huge difference.Firstly, you need a really clear introduction - yours was confusing. One other change I would make, would be to try to avoid repeating yourself. You say there are 'many reasons' why you like one film over the other - about 3 times, which is a lot in a short essay like this.Overall though, I think you did a pretty good job and you had some good points to make.
    • 11/10/2007
    • 21:33:17
    • Score: 0 out of 0 people found this comment useful.
  • Romeo and Juliet

    As a film review, this is pretty good - it certainly does its job. This probably wouldn't suffice if you were looking for deeper analysis however. But as it stands, a pretty good job.
    • 11/10/2007
    • 21:24:57
    • Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
  • Reading

    Was somewhat confused by your initial paragraph, under the 'behaviourist' heading. You state that children have to be a certain age before they start learning to read, yet you go onto say (in the same paragraph) that there is no agreed age. This is confusing and contradictory.There are a few spelling errors and phrases such as 'learners learn..'that could be tidied up with some good proof reading and editing.However, you have obviously done a lot of research here and this is not a bad effort.
    • 11/10/2007
    • 21:04:45
    • Score: 0 out of 0 people found this comment useful.
  • Birth of Middle Class Consumer

    A really impressive essay - extremely well written and researched. Well structured with an exemplary use of references. Hard to fault! Well done.
    • 11/10/2007
    • 20:54:35
    • Score: 0 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
  • Diversity

    I think this started off really well, but after the first paragraph you start to ramble somewhat.For example, your second paragraph is pretty unnecessary as it doesn't add anything new to your introduction. Maybe you could have made your intro more concise to avoid this problem.Your section on religion made little sense to me - I think I understand your basic premise, but you have really rambled on a bit here and use a lot of words to say a little.Last whine - in your section on ethnicity, what do you mean by 'racial'? Do you mean racist?Overall, not bad - you have some good points, but the essay needs thorough editing in order to find them.
    • 10/10/2007
    • 21:16:54
    • Score: 0 out of 0 people found this comment useful.
  • Vegetarianism

    This was a well researched and well written essay.My only advice would be to try to incorporate a wider variety of quote sources. Goveg came up repeatedly, and whilst all your quotes were relevant, it just shows a greater commitment to your work if you have quotes from a number of sources.Overall a great essay - well done!
    • 10/10/2007
    • 21:06:13
    • Score: 1 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
  • Accounting Scandals

    Very short, especially as you have stated that this is Master's level.Also, and more importantly, you don't actually answer the questions posed to you. Initially it is stated that scandals were uncovered as a result of the changes in accounting and auditing process. However, you then go onto to give the Enron collapse as the cause for these changes.The second part of the question is answered (?) in a similar way. The only example you give of change is that the audit company went out of business.From your reference list you have obviously researched/read the required information but haven't quite managed to work it into a cohesive piece here.
    • 10/10/2007
    • 20:59:21
    • Score: 1 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
  • Restaurant Life

    This was a well written and very engaging piece of work. I really enjoyed reading it.I thought your conclusion was especially good as it shows that through the restaurant business you have learned other important life lessons. A great job, well done!
    • 09/10/2007
    • 21:38:21
    • Score: 0 out of 0 people found this comment useful.
  • Humans Strive...

    Not a bad essay, but you are trying too hard to fit too much in here. Sometimes less is more; perhaps you could have focused more on some of your examples of those who have spent their lives striving for justice and freedom.Also, whilst you seem to be trying to develop a wide vocabulary, sometimes it is necessary to double check that the words you use actually make sense within the whole sentence. (Your opening sentence for example).I don't want to be too discouraging though as I think you are on the right track, just needs a bit more work.
    • 09/10/2007
    • 21:34:47
    • Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
  • Pepsi

    This is an interesting essay, however the frequent grammatical errors are very distracting. The constant (mis)use of 'publics' for example.For this reason, along with several almost, but not quite right word choices - the essay doesn't flow as well as it might. A little editing would bring great improvement to what is really not a bad essay.
    • 09/10/2007
    • 21:27:05
    • Score: 0 out of 0 people found this comment useful.
  • Dear Henry...

    This is beautiful! You've done a great job here and have a really wonderful style of writing.Keep up the great work.
    • 08/10/2007
    • 21:43:24
    • Score: 0 out of 0 people found this comment useful.
  • A Great Leader?

    Certainly can't agree with you here, but your essay really did little to persuade me otherwise.This piece of work would benefit from a good read through in order to tidy up some of the grammatical and spelling errors. A little editing would help to make this essay a smoother read.
    • 08/10/2007
    • 21:32:45
    • Score: 0 out of 0 people found this comment useful.
  • Zoos

    Whilst I understand your viewpoint, I don't think this was a particularly persuasive essay.You didn't indicate your age, so don't want to be too harsh, but it would have been really helpful for you to find some sources to back up your claims. That would certainly help your argument in the future.
    • 08/10/2007
    • 21:20:05
    • Score: 0 out of 0 people found this comment useful.
  • Health Education

    Whilst I agree with your basic premise of the importance of health education, you tend to rely on one idea to put forward your argument. This tends to make the essay sound very repetitive.If you could have come up with a couple of more positive ideas to back up your opinion, it would have made for a well rounded essay.
    • 08/10/2007
    • 04:13:07
    • Score: 0 out of 0 people found this comment useful.
  • Another great essay

    Well done - this is another really good essay. Well researched and well written - great job!
    • 08/10/2007
    • 04:06:09
    • Score: 0 out of 0 people found this comment useful.
  • Behavioral Theories

    A great piece of work - well researched and planned. I can't say that I noticed a vast number of spelling errors, which I normally do, so can't agree with afelton1906 on that point. But I do agree that this was a really good paper - well done.
    • 08/10/2007
    • 03:56:03
    • Score: 0 out of 0 people found this comment useful.
  • The Drover's Wife

    You've done a good job with this essay. You make a statement in your introduction and follow through with that by giving examples of the hardships and resourcefulness of The Drover's Wife.Well done!
    • 03/10/2007
    • 21:25:59
    • Score: 2 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
  • Same Sex Marriage

    I did find a couple of good quotes in this essay. However, it took a lot of wading through confusing and contradictory statements by the author of this piece.It's not terrible, but needs to be more concise and accurate in the opinions put forth - just look at the opening sentence, it doesn't make sense.
    • 03/10/2007
    • 21:19:35
    • Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
  • Death Penalty

    Not bad, but the grammatical errors and the repetition of ideas detracted from the overall content.I am actually anti capital punishment, but if I had to write this essay I would have tried to find more sources that backed up your primary source, van den Haag. This essay certainly wouldn't sway my opinion!
    • 03/10/2007
    • 21:12:35
    • Score: 0 out of 0 people found this comment useful.
  • A Selfish Wish

    This is a really impressive story! Apart from another read through to double check some spelling and vocabulary choices, I wouldn't suggest you change this at all. I wasn't expecting this to be so great as you mentioned this is still a draft, so it was a wonderful surprise to read such good work. Great job!
    • 02/10/2007
    • 21:20:39
    • Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
  • Immigration

    I have to agree with maguirre2005, because you definitely need to work on your spelling and grammar. Basic errors, such as 'Elise' instead of Ellis island are distracting and don't do justice to the interesting nature of your essay.However, I am impressed by the sense of passion that is evident in your writing so keep trying!
    • 02/10/2007
    • 03:58:50
    • Score: 3 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
  • College Students and Stress

    Whilst this is an interesting topic, it would certainly benefit from further research to substantiate your arguments. Spelling and grammatical errors also detract from what could be a good essay.
    • 02/10/2007
    • 03:46:41
    • Score: 0 out of 0 people found this comment useful.
  • Goal Statement

    Whilst I applaud some of your personal sentiments and achievements, this really is not a particularly well written essay.Some of the phrasing is repetitive, there are spelling errors and an unusual use of syntax throughout. This results in a very unclear piece of work.With more thought and some thorough editing, I am sure you could come up with a far more impressive statement of your goals.
    • 01/10/2007
    • 21:46:09
    • Score: 0 out of 0 people found this comment useful.
  • Social and Political Concerns

    I found this to be a very confusing and not particularly well written piece. I would certainly not consider this to be undergrad level - let alone worth such a high grade.Perhaps you are trying to tackle too many issues in far too little space, but the essay as it stands does not leave a positive impression.
    • 01/10/2007
    • 21:25:47
    • Score: 0 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
  • Rise and Fall

    A lot of work has obviously gone into this essay and it started well. However, there were many grammatical, as well as some spelling, errors which were very distracting and detracted from the overall essay.
    • 01/10/2007
    • 21:12:19
    • Score: 0 out of 0 people found this comment useful.
  • Who will save the babies?

    You have obviously worked hard on this essay, however when discussing emotive issues such as abortion I do think a greater sense of balance is required. Also, as a reader from a country outside of the US, I do find it ironic that you make the assumption that the European countries mentioned are less democratic than 'the land of the free'!Good try though.
    • 01/10/2007
    • 04:03:55
    • Score: 0 out of 0 people found this comment useful.
  • Paul's Missionary Journeys

    Whilst the information you have discussed is interesting, this is really a very short discussion of the life of Paul.You don't say how old you are so I won't be too harsh (!) but you have listed a lot of information without really going into much detail or offering further exploration that might show you have a real understanding of your topic.You also assume that the reader has the same understanding of background facts as you do - for example, the execution of Stephen.Just a few things to think about - or not!
    • 21/12/2004
    • 21:46:09
    • Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
  • Effective speechmaking

    This is a fine essay exploring what it is that makes a good speech.The quotes you chose from both Henry V and Martin Luther King were most apt demonstrate both your ability to research and an ability to find speeches that you are able to compare and contrast effectively.An impressive job - well done!
    • 21/12/2004
    • 21:38:31
    • Score: 2 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
  • Big Boss Watching

    This was a well written and researched essay on a very interesting topic.You have done well to weigh up both sides of the argument most effectively - the research into productivity and stress levels of those being monitored was particularly interesting, and quite surprising.Great job!
    • 21/12/2004
    • 21:26:24
    • Score: 3 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
  • Africa

    Trying to discuss Africa in an essay is a pretty mammoth task, so to do so in under 1000 words is really asking something!You have managed to include a lot of factual information here, which is great, but makes referencing your work especially important.Good try!
    • 21/12/2004
    • 21:19:53
    • Score: 2 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
  • A Promise to My Love

    I don't usually like rating poetry as it is so subjective, but you have managed to convey some quite complex emotions in a way that is simple for the reader to relate to.Good job!
    • 21/12/2004
    • 21:12:23
    • Score: 3 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
  • Wal Mart

    I think you have done a good job here. By clearly stating that this is a position paper, you have given yourself the room to focus primarily on backing up your views.However, you have also addressed a couple of thoughts that may well be raised by someone with an opposing viewpoint.Whilst I don't necessarily agree with your reasoning or your opinion, I do think you have succeeded in writing a good position paper - so, well done!
    • 02/12/2004
    • 20:17:00
    • Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
  • Death and Dying

    I actually thought this was a pretty good essay and deserved more than the grade you received for it.There were quite a few instances where you could have improved the general feel of the essay by checking grammar and punctuation. I wouldn't normally be so picky but you did ask for comments!Also, whilst you have condensed a lot of interesting information into the essay, I get the feeling that it doesn't flow perhaps as well as it could. Do you usually draw up a plan before you write up an essay?Whilst this can be time consuming initially it does make life much easier in the long run. Once you have done this you can use it as a guide to go back to - to check that you really have covered all the topics you planned to, and outlined in your introduction.I'm not sure that in this case you really covered the aspects that type of death can impact on quality of death. Maybe you could have included some of the testimonies of terminally ill people who have chosen to die - the euthanasia debate would probably be very useful in such an essay.If I haven't bored you senseless - I just want to say that overall, I think this was an interesting essay and I think you made a good effort.End of lecture!!
    • 29/11/2004
    • 20:23:56
    • Score: 2 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
  • Capital Punishment

    Thank you for an excellent essay. You put forward the facts in a very balanced manner, you have obviously done a great deal of research and I think this is one of the best written essays I've read here.Whilst I understand that victim's families want to see justice when a crime is committed, I fail to reconcile this with the execution of someone who is mentally retarted. Thank you for a truly insightful piece of work.
    • 11/10/2004
    • 21:46:09
    • Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
  • Colonial Society

    You've provided a good range of information in these study notes on colonial society.I know this isn't a formal essay, but a bibliography would still be very useful for those of us interested in reading more about this topic.Thanks!
    • 27/09/2004
    • 22:49:11
    • Score: 2 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
  • Population

    You have written an interesting essay on the topic of population control. You make a very important point by highlighting the issue of overconsumption by some developed nations. The way many of our societies operate is unsustainable and more emphasis does need to be focused upon ways in which we can address this problem.Nice effort!
    • 27/09/2004
    • 22:41:48
    • Score: 3 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
  • New Testament

    I think the essence of your essay comes across well - you don't necessarily have to be a Christian to appreciate that Christian values are timeless and that they do have a place in modern society.However, your essay is a little confusing to read and I think this is probably because English is perhaps not your first language. You have made a good effort though, so well done.
    • 23/09/2004
    • 00:07:05
    • Score: 2 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
  • Abortion

    I think you have done well to tackle such an emotive topic. You writing style works well in this kind of discussion style essay, as it reflects the fact that this is a very personal issue.I can't agree that abortion should be equated with a form of popultation control, and I actually find it quite alarming that it could be used as an argument. If you believe that abortion is all to do with personal choice, then focusing on the individual reasons why that choice needs to be made is probably basis for a stronger argument.Whilst I don't necessarily agree with everything you say, I still think you have managed to do a good job here.
    • 22/09/2004
    • 23:54:04
    • Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
  • Things Fall Apart

    You have written a good essay on a great novel. You have used relevant examples to back up your thesis and show a good knowledge of the events within the book.Good work!
    • 22/09/2004
    • 23:44:35
    • Score: 4 out of 4 people found this comment useful.
  • Drug and Alcohol Abuse

    Well done!You have written a well structured and well argued essay here. You have clearly stated your argument and backed it up with solutions.Great work!
    • 22/09/2004
    • 23:35:15
    • Score: 3 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
  • Care settings

    Well done on a well written and sensitive approach to the conflicts and pressures that can occur in care settings.As someone who has worked in a similar field, I believe that the approach you take to those in your care shows a good deal of respect and highlights the importance of preserving as much dignity for the care receiver as possible.Good job!
    • 22/09/2004
    • 23:28:36
    • Score: 3 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
  • Heart of Darkness

    This was an interesting essay on Conrad's classic, Heart of Darkness.Whilst you obviously know the book very well, referencing would have been really helpful to those of us who would like to revisit aspects of the novel that you highlight in this essay.Just out of interest, is there a reason why you used the french term nouvelle when referring to Heart of Darkness? Just being nosy!!
    • 22/09/2004
    • 23:23:37
    • Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
  • Descriptive story

    This was a very well written short story. Your detailed description of the stranger in your story was excellent and showed great attention to detail.It's just a shame that the spelling of your title had a couple of errors as it almost put me off reading what was a great little story.Well done!
    • 22/09/2004
    • 23:11:19
    • Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
  • Cross cultural communication

    This was a good essay on cross cultural communication. You have chosen a good range of examples to clarify the theoretical perspectives of this topic, and a bibliography would have been really useful here.This is a really interesting field and one that I think is still undervalued in foreign language learning, but also between English speakers from different cultures.Good work!
    • 21/09/2004
    • 21:05:51
    • Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
  • The Glass Menagerie

    You have done a good job here and show a thorough knowledge of this wonderful play.My only recommendation would be to reference your quotes and provide a bibliography for some of the other information you provide.But, overall, a good job - well done!
    • 21/09/2004
    • 20:54:38
    • Score: 2 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
  • Script concept

    I thought this was a well articulated, concise explanation of your proposed script. I also think your comment explaining the script writing process was helpful when looking at your work.I am wondering if someone has something of a vendetta against you though as much of the work you have posted, that is currently pending, is getting what I consider to be undeserved bad ratings.What I have seen of your work doesn't deserve this so I am handing out smiley faces for your essay and comment!
    • 13/09/2004
    • 08:11:28
    • Score: 4 out of 5 people found this comment useful.
  • The Boy

    This was an incredibly beautifully written piece. You have managed to evoke a deep sense of emotion and really do a great job of drawing the reader in.Really impressive work - hope to read more soon.
    • 12/09/2004
    • 19:27:20
    • Score: 3 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
  • Autism

    This was an interesting, if rather short, piece on Autism.I don't necessarily agree with all of the comments you have made - in my experience, the many people with autism that I have worked with certainly can use language meaningfully but have difficulties in recognising the nuances of language, such as sarcasm and humour.Overall though a pretty good effort, although some acknowledgement of references would have been a good idea.
    • 05/09/2004
    • 06:56:42
    • Score: 5 out of 5 people found this comment useful.
  • Class in Australia

    This is a really interesting topic but I think you would have had to go into a lot more detail to really explore this issue properly.I found your opening paragraph very confusing and think that the overall writing style could have been improved. Better luck next time.
    • 05/09/2004
    • 06:43:25
    • Score: 2 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
  • Race, Gender & Ethnicity in Education

    This is a really interesting topic which you have not even begun to cover in this essay. For one, you don't seem to even attempt to tackle the issue of gender, despite the title.However, that is probably the least of the problems here. Frankly, I find the tone of this piece very offensive. You describe a whole group of society as prejudice' (your spelling) and 'lazy' - don't you think this is a huge generalisation?I could go on, and on, and on - but there probably isn't really enough space here for me to tell you how I feel about this essay.Hope you think more deeply about the issues when you write your next piece of work.
    • 26/08/2004
    • 00:03:48
    • Score: 3 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
  • The Stolen Generations

    Thank you so much for an excellent essay on a topic that is both horrifying and fascinating.Your essay is well written, well researched and very engaging.Sadly, I have to agree with your conclusion as it is only too apparent that the scars of historical errors continue to impact on the Aboriginal population today.Well done - this was really impressive work.
    • 20/08/2004
    • 07:28:27
    • Score: 6 out of 6 people found this comment useful.
  • The Tempest

    Well done on writing a good essay.My only suggestion would be to try and use some quotes from the play to back up your ideas. I know you have done this by describing events, but quotes often work better as well as showing that you know the play very well!Good job though.
    • 20/08/2004
    • 07:14:03
    • Score: 3 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
  • President Bush & Bill Gates ?!

    This was well written but I must admit to being a little confused as to why you suddenly started speaking about Bill Gates!Are you suggesting that he would make a better president than George Bush?Anyway - both parts of your essay were well written, so well done!
    • 19/08/2004
    • 07:42:16
    • Score: 3 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
  • Wiltech India

    A good essay, but think it could have been better if a few grammatical errors were ironed out and also if the essay had been a little more structured.I think the content was good, and you have obviously got some good ideas. However, the way the essay is laid out at the moment makes it a little difficult to appreciate the content fully.
    • 19/08/2004
    • 07:22:12
    • Score: 5 out of 5 people found this comment useful.
  • Multiculturalism in Australia

    A very impressive essay.You have managed to cover a wide range of issues that form the far reaching topic of multiculturalism. I thought the way you contrasted the policies of more recent times with the dreadul historic mistake of the White Australia policy, for example, was very well done.Great work!
    • 19/08/2004
    • 07:15:47
    • Score: 5 out of 5 people found this comment useful.
  • Mark Latham

    This was a good essay in which you have done well to summarise the main points of contention between both political parties over this issue.You have also been very intuitive in your final assessment! As we are seeing at the moment with John Howard - politicians always seem to find a way around the things they have said or done in the past.A good effort - well done!
    • 19/08/2004
    • 07:06:21
    • Score: 4 out of 4 people found this comment useful.
  • Stolen Generation

    Thank you for an excellent essay on the tragedy of Australia's stolen generation.I wholeheartedly agree with you - reconciliation between all Australians is absolutely necessary for our future as a cohesive society.Your final paragraph is excellent and we, as a society, would do well to take note of what you say.Great work!
    • 06/08/2004
    • 00:24:48
    • Score: 3 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
  • Romeo + Juliet

    This is really an excellent essay on Baz Luhrmann's adaptation of the Shakespeare play, Romeo and Juliet.You have succeeded in giving a very thorough analysis of the film and ways in which it differs from the Shakespeare text.I'd be interested to know how often you had to watch the movie! You've picked up on things that I certainly didn't notice and I have watched the movie about a dozen times when I had to write an essay about it.You've done a great job here - well done!
    • 02/08/2004
    • 07:54:38
    • Score: 3 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
  • Children of Vengeance - 2

    Well done!Although this was a pretty bleak story - it was very well thought out and delivered.I like the fact that you resisted making the girl a one dimensional 'evil' figure - the fact that she shows remorse makes this actually quite a touching story.Good work!
    • 02/08/2004
    • 00:37:54
    • Score: 2 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
  • Children of Vengeance - 1

    Very impressive!You really do have a talent for writing and it's good to see that you continue to contribute such great work.I'm off to read part 2 now!
    • 02/08/2004
    • 00:25:22
    • Score: 3 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
  • Father's Day

    Good work spoonman!Cleverly structured - although there were a couple of occasions where it was looking a bit forced.However, you definitely came through in the end - the finale was great.Well done!
    • 29/07/2004
    • 06:38:05
    • Score: 4 out of 4 people found this comment useful.
  • Bulimia

    This was a well written, well researched and indepth essay on bulimia.Whilst it would have been helpful to acknowledge some of your sources of information I thought this was an impressive piece of work.
    • 29/07/2004
    • 06:30:46
    • Score: 6 out of 6 people found this comment useful.
  • Islam

    Whilst what you have written is interesting from a factual standpoint - I don't think you have really succeeded in giving enough detail in order to explain how Islam is both a religion and a way of life.I don't know if you were constrained by a low word limit, but feel this would have been a better essay if you could have given a few more examples of the link between the religious practices and everyday life.Good try though.
    • 29/07/2004
    • 06:25:27
    • Score: 2 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
  • Euthanasia

    I know that this topic is an emotive one, but I think your essay suffered from being so obviously anti-euthanasia.It was probably a little too short to try to encompass any kind of acknowledgement as to the reasons why people are pro-euthanasia - but if you had managed to do so I think your essay would certainly have benefited.We don't all have to agree with each other on the content of our essays, but I don't think you wrote this as well as you write a lot of your other work.
    • 29/07/2004
    • 06:19:59
    • Score: 6 out of 6 people found this comment useful.
  • Capital Punishment

    You have written a good essay on some of the issues surrounding the debate of whether or not capital punishment should be reintroduced in Australia.My only suggestion is that you should probably have used the 'abolition' instead of 'abolishment' in your title.But other than that, I was pretty impressed. Well done!
    • 29/07/2004
    • 06:13:39
    • Score: 2 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
  • Confusing

    Whilst I think you have made a good effort to discuss an interesting concept, I must admit to being a little confused about what exactly you were trying to discuss here.I think the essay would have benefited from more specific statements and examples. Also, I think you may have been a little ambitious with some of the vocabulary you tried to use. Please don't take this the wrong way but is English your first language? It's just that I make this mistake when writing essays in French and they never quite sound as good as they should.Anyway, nice try.
    • 29/07/2004
    • 06:07:25
    • Score: 2 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
  • Persuasive Speech

    This was a really good speech.I particularly liked the way you tried to draw your audience in by asking them to think about the challenges they would face by moving to another country - just as you have done.Great job!
    • 29/07/2004
    • 05:58:56
    • Score: 3 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
  • The Lottery

    Thank you for an insightful essay on the rather disturbing short story, The Lottery.The whole tone of this story is so at odds with the horrendous events within it, that I have always found it difficult to look further into what this tale might be trying to tell us. With that in mind I thought your explanation of the central theme to this story was credible and enlightening.Good work!
    • 28/07/2004
    • 07:23:42
    • Score: 2 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
  • Richard III

    You have written a good essay on how we should consider the character of Shakespeare's Richard III.For a relatively short essay you have done a good job of putting forward your ideas and supporting them with relevant quotations. There are almost limitless opportunities to find examples of Richard behaving badly in this wonderful play, and I agree with m_iria_m that perhaps some other examples may have helped this essay.But, overall you have done a really good job. Well done!
    • 25/07/2004
    • 07:37:58
    • Score: 2 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
  • Snow Falling on Cedars

    You have written a very good essay explaining why you think there is so much more to the novel 'Snow Falling on Cedars'.You have clearly given examples as to why you feel the novel is more than "just a murder trial" as well as clearly defining many of the issues raised within the novel.Great job - well done!
    • 25/07/2004
    • 07:26:05
    • Score: 2 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
  • Walking Away

    This was really beautifully written and despite the fact I thought this was all incredibly sad, I really enjoyed reading it.You have a really good writing style - I was hooked from the first paragraph and was relieved to find that the story only improved as you went on.Great job!
    • 21/07/2004
    • 23:28:11
    • Score: 2 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
  • Iraq vs America?

    Whilst you raise some interesting questions, their effect is really lost through poor structure and organisation.Was this part of a longer essay?That might explain why you start talking about Australia without any kind of link to your previous comments.Anyway, so as not to be totally negative - I do like your concluding thoughts regarding peace, hope and life - so good choice there!
    • 19/07/2004
    • 08:36:59
    • Score: 3 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
  • The Land

    You have written a good essay on the importance of 'the land' as a theme through Australian artwork.You write descriptively and your explanation of the artwork 'Lost' is particularly well done.Good job!
    • 17/07/2004
    • 07:05:08
    • Score: 2 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
  • Piaget

    This was a good outline of Piaget's four stages of cognitive development.It would have been useful for you to point out some of the practical applications of these stages. References would also have been useful, although most educational psychology texts include discussion of Piaget's work.As an overview of Piaget's theory this is just fine.Thanks!
    • 17/07/2004
    • 06:49:16
    • Score: 4 out of 4 people found this comment useful.
  • SouthWest Airlines

    This was a well written, thorough and well researched essay.You highlighted the innovative approach that SouthWest have taken in trying to remain competitive and have provided a good insight into their future performance plans.Good work!
    • 16/07/2004
    • 07:28:56
    • Score: 3 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
  • Psychology

    An informative essay which convincingly provides us with many of the benefits associated with studying psychology.I did find the frequent use of ? very distracting but am assuming that they are markers for references.Overall, a pretty good job. Thanks!
    • 16/07/2004
    • 07:17:21
    • Score: 4 out of 4 people found this comment useful.
  • Youth Violence

    Thanks for an interesting and informative essay on youth violence. You raised some very interesting points, although I don't think there was enough in your essay to actually convince that youth violence is indeed a myth.You do make some interesting comparisons between crimes committed by 'youths' and by adults. However, shouldn't we consider all such crimes - such as public shootings, or any shootings for that matter - as cause for alarm and concern?This is probably a long winded way of saying that in some respects I have to agree with you. There is certainly a need for political decisions to take a much more proactive approach, so it is disheartening to hear that positive programs such as you describe, are being scrapped.Thanks for a thought provoking essay!
    • 16/07/2004
    • 07:09:57
    • Score: 2 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
  • Day Care

    I thought this was a very interesting essay, in that it didn't conform to my preconceived ideas about the benefits of childcare vs home care.You could have expanded on some of your points, as I think the essay was a little short and a bibliography would have been helpful too.Overall though - an interesting paper.
    • 15/07/2004
    • 01:03:55
    • Score: 2 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
  • Literature

    This was an interesting essay on the social functions of literature.You raised some interesting points and I particularly agree with you when you state that "even literature from hundreds of years ago can have a purpose within society today".Good work!
    • 13/07/2004
    • 20:01:44
    • Score: 2 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
  • Inspirational

    What an absolutely fantastic essay.You highlight the terrible impact of cancer, yet you have managed to show us that there is hope, even in such a situation as you and your family faced.Without being overly sentimental (a difficult task in this situation) you have managed to encourages the reader to empathise with your situation. I certainly hope that your father continues to have a healthy life and that you both continue to live life with the determination and positive approach that you have displayed through this essay.Great work - very well done!
    • 13/07/2004
    • 19:52:42
    • Score: 5 out of 5 people found this comment useful.
  • Drought

    What you have written is fine - especially if your aim was to report facts, rather than offer a more personal perspective on the effects of drought.However, it is a good idea to provide a list of references so we know where you found the information.
    • 13/07/2004
    • 00:29:29
    • Score: 2 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
  • Art

    Thank you for a most interesting essay. You managed to convey a good overview of both Aboriginal and Japanese perspectives of art. Your explanations were well thought out and clearly expressed.Great work!
    • 12/07/2004
    • 23:32:16
    • Score: 2 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
  • Cocaine

    Whilst I thought this was an interesting approach to your topic, you really need to cite your sources. A lot of what you have written comes directly from www.cocaine.org so you should really include references and a bibliography to show that you have researched the topic.Nice effort though.
    • 12/07/2004
    • 23:21:55
    • Score: 2 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
  • College Education

    Thank you for writing such a well written, well thought out essay. You raise some very interesting points and I was impressed to learn that the American college system places such high value on the liberal arts - this is certainly not the case here in Australia.Great work!
    • 12/07/2004
    • 23:14:31
    • Score: 3 out of 4 people found this comment useful.
  • Views of self

    This was quite an interesting essay on various 'views of self'. You have done well to summarise the various theorists so succintly, however I would probably have spent a little more time and space exploring the implications of these theories in a little more detail.Also, a bibliography would have been helpful.Overall, a pretty good job!
    • 12/07/2004
    • 06:32:17
    • Score: 2 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
  • Psychological Benefits of Racism

    This was a well written, very well researched essay. Initially, the title put me off - but after reading the content I was reassured and impressed by the stance you take.Well done.
    • 12/07/2004
    • 06:23:25
    • Score: 2 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
  • Rape

    This is a well written and informative essay on a difficult topic.You have detailed the classification and processes associated with rapists and rape victims in a balanced manner.You raised a particularly important point when you highlight the fact that rape changes lives dramatically and inflicts huge psychological damage.A fine essay.
    • 11/07/2004
    • 20:43:24
    • Score: 2 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
  • Jesus' life

    I found this to be a well written and well structured essay. You used biblical quotes appropriately to reinforce and support the views you put forward.Whilst I understand that the views expressed may not appeal to everyone, I am quite baffled as to why you may have been given low scores by others who have reviewed this essay as I think you have done a fine job.
    • 11/07/2004
    • 20:28:03
    • Score: 3 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
  • Kakadu

    You have written an excellent essay on the contrasting significance of Kakadu for both indigenous and non-indigenous Australians.I think you have approached this topic in a balanced way, yet in a way that is sensitive to the Aboriginal viewpoint - arguably a rare thing in Australia at the moment.It would be a positive step for all non-indigenous Australians to better understand the enormous significance of 'land' in relation to all aspects of indigenous Australian life.
    • 11/07/2004
    • 07:08:04
    • Score: 3 out of 4 people found this comment useful.
  • New Year

    You have a very engaging writing style and your story is infused with humour. I particularly liked the idea of 26 bridesmaids!!Good job - look forward to the next instalment!
    • 08/07/2004
    • 20:18:50
    • Score: 4 out of 4 people found this comment useful.
  • Glass Menagerie

    A very good essay with a logical explanation of your viewpoint, backed up by relevant quotes. You display a good understanding of the play and its characters.My only suggestion would be to keep your conclusion to the points covered in the essay, but other than that I really enjoyed your essay.Great job!
    • 06/07/2004
    • 20:17:02
    • Score: 4 out of 4 people found this comment useful.
  • Abortion

    Although you raised some good points, this essay would have benefited from more structure and planning.Also, if you are proposing that abortion is 'your decision' I think you should avoid overly emotive and biased language, for example you say that 'abortions murder an innocent unborn child every day'.I understand that this topic is an incredibly emotive one and therefore it is difficult to avoid using emotive language, but if you really are trying to put forward a balanced viewpoint, then I do think you need to show a more balanced approach in your writing style.But, I do think you have done well to even attempt to write on this topic and with a bit of practice I am certain you are capable of some good work.
    • 06/07/2004
    • 06:12:04
    • Score: 2 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
  • Asylum Seekers

    This was a concise and well written analysis on a topic that I feel incredibly strongly about.It is a very sad indictment on our society that such a large proportion of Australians actually agree with the mindless concept of sending refugees 'back where they came from'. The issue is a complex one and has been oversimplified by the current government who have successfully used the same sort of scaremongering and emotive language that you talk about in your review of John Vaughan's book.I would really have been interested to hear views on the issue and how they relate to the book. I am hopeful that views such as Vaughan's are losing support as the majority of asylum seekers need our compassion rather than our negative and often ignorant judgements of them.Thank you for raising an interesting topic!
    • 05/07/2004
    • 19:42:30
    • Score: 3 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
  • Buses - Part Two

    I really enjoyed Part 1 and you do well to introduce some interesting story lines in this installment. However, this episode of 'Buses' tends to ramble a little - I won't give you my theory on why this might be! However, I do want to find out more about 'Buses' so will definitely check out Part 3 !
    • 05/07/2004
    • 01:44:36
    • Score: 3 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
  • Buses - Part 1

    Good work!I particularly liked the final paragraph where you draw parallels between the future of 'your' life and the knife.I think this will encourage people to look forward to the next instalment of 'Buses'!Well done.
    • 05/07/2004
    • 01:31:08
    • Score: 3 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
  • Wicca Craft

    This was an excellent essay on a fascinating topic. You have approached the topic in a logical and balanced manner and have done well to tackle the issues that have contributed to the stereotypical image of those that practise Wicca.A fine essay - well done!
    • 05/07/2004
    • 01:18:39
    • Score: 5 out of 5 people found this comment useful.
  • Women of Australia in the 19th Century

    This is actually a good effort, despite some spelling and grammatical errors. If readers get past those issues then they will see that you have structured the essay quite well and you have made a good attempt to explain the situation of women in Australia during this time period.A good attempt - don't be disheartened by negative comments.
    • 03/07/2004
    • 07:07:18
    • Score: 4 out of 5 people found this comment useful.
  • Night

    A good attempt at exploring the horrific psychological toll on survivors of the Holocaust. You have done well to use examples from Elie Wiesl's incredible book ' Night' to illustrate the heart rending transformation of those who survived this experience.Well done in dealing with a very emotional and confronting topic.
    • 03/07/2004
    • 06:59:39
    • Score: 2 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
  • Ethics

    A well written and concise essay on the topic of ethics. Particularly useful in that it outlines the positive benefits of ethical behaviour whilst also highlighting examples of why we may ignore ethical behaviour for our own (perceived) gain.Good work!
    • 03/07/2004
    • 06:52:08
    • Score: 3 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
  • Impressive

    Really fantastic work!Well written, incredibly detailed and extremely useful to anyone studying this wonderful Ibsen play. A bibliography would have been appreciated as you chose some really relevent quotes.Congratulations on a great piece of writing!
    • 30/06/2004
    • 23:53:32
    • Score: 5 out of 5 people found this comment useful.
  • A Secular Life

    Congratluations on a well written, well thought out essay. It is interesting for me as a non-American to hear your views on America as a secular society as that is definitely not the impression one gets as an outsider looking in.You raised many points that I don't really agree with but you put forward your views quite convincingly so maybe we can just agree to disagree! For example, the banning of headscarves in French schools may also be seen as an example of democracy and equality at work rather than an infringement upon democratic principles. Also, do you think pride in being an American is actually enough to sustain people? Is it any easier to define what it is to be American than what it is to be religious? I don't think so. I do think that there is the need for some level of sprituality in our lives whether people find this through organised religion or through other means.However, none of this detracts from the fact that you did a good job here. Thanks!
    • 30/06/2004
    • 19:11:37
    • Score: 5 out of 5 people found this comment useful.
  • Romeo + Juliet

    A really impressive essay. You have been extremely thorough in your description of the opening sequence and your detailed account really brought back the opening of this movie back to life for me.Great job!
    • 30/06/2004
    • 08:05:17
    • Score: 3 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
  • Glass Menagerie

    This was an interesting essay.Whilst I don't necessarily agree that 'Jim' could be considered the most important character in the play, I think you have made some very insightful comments about the other characters.Well done!
    • 29/06/2004
    • 19:25:20
    • Score: 2 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
  • Single Mothers

    This was a very good essay on an emotive topic. You raise some very interesting points and I have to agree that it is a sad indictment on society that we tend to accept the demonisation of single mothers by conservative elements of government. I agree that encouraging or enabling some kind of skills training would be a positive step, but I also think that this whole issue needs to be looked at from a wider perspective. We tend to look at 'single mothers' as being the problem without looking at the wider social issues and reasons behind so many women finding themselves in this position.Thanks for a very interesting read!
    • 28/06/2004
    • 23:32:56
    • Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
  • Persuasive Essay

    Didn't quite convince me to vote for George W - but did give me a few laughs! I don't think your heart was really in this though - that much was clear before you stated you were a Democrat! However, it is always difficult to write a persuasive essay from an opposing standpoint to your own so I think you made a good effort.
    • 28/06/2004
    • 23:24:49
    • Score: 2 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
  • Misleading title?

    Sorry - but couldn't actually find Shakespeare mentioned once in this essay!
    • 28/06/2004
    • 23:19:23
    • Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
  • UNIX

    An interesting essay - however, in my view the overly repetitive use of UNIX in the introduction was quite offputting.Despite that, overall this was a pretty impressive essay.
    • 28/06/2004
    • 23:10:53
    • Score: 4 out of 4 people found this comment useful.
  • Color Purple

    A beautifully written essay which strongly succeeds in highlighting the difficulties and sacrifices that are made when adapting a novel into a film.A really fantastic essay - you deserved a good mark for this, well done!
    • 28/06/2004
    • 23:02:19
    • Score: 2 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
  • Love

    You did a great job of demonstrating your point, although it is a little depressing to have to agree with you that love can be such a destructive force!Well done!
    • 28/06/2004
    • 06:51:48
    • Score: 4 out of 4 people found this comment useful.
  • Child Labour & Boycotting

    This is an interesting topic, but like johnjjp I would really be interested to find out your views on how the problem of child labour could be tackled. I don't know that I agree with some of your reasoning but I don't have to agree with you to acknowledge that you did a pretty good job of a difficult topic.
    • 24/06/2004
    • 07:13:14
    • Score: 4 out of 4 people found this comment useful.
  • Humans

    Your idealism shines through and is commendable, however I think your writing style may need a little work. This essay could really have been easier to read than it actually was.However, I have to agree with your overall premise that we all need to take responsibility for making the world a better, safer and more peaceful place to live.
    • 24/06/2004
    • 07:04:50
    • Score: 2 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
  • Animal Farm

    I think you raised some good points, but could really have expanded upon them to make this a better essay.Also, is Animal Farm really a 'fairy story'? I notice that you use the word 'fable' toward the end of your essay and think this is probably the better term to use.There is a good link to Orwell's preface to Animal Farm on http://home.iprimus.com.au/korob/Orwell.htm
    • 22/06/2004
    • 20:33:57
    • Score: 3 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
  • Judaism

    I know you stated this was a 'short' essay but it is probably a little too short to give justice to the explanation of Judaism. However, what you did write was interesting - it just would have been good if you went into more detail.
    • 22/06/2004
    • 00:45:36
    • Score: 4 out of 4 people found this comment useful.
  • Changing Nature of Work

    Was pretty impressed with this one! Thought it was well written and well researched - although there were a couple of instances where I had to re-read part of the essay to try and figure out what was going on! (The last sentence of the 3rd paragraph for example).That aside, thought you did a pretty good job.
    • 22/06/2004
    • 00:35:51
    • Score: 4 out of 4 people found this comment useful.
  • Things Fall Apart

    This was a pretty good essay on a really interesting book. There was a bit of initial repetition in the essay, but you still managed a pretty good job.It is probably worth thinking about "Things Fall Apart" as offering a representation of Igbo life and culture as told from an Igbo perspective. As you rightly point out, often the Western/Orientalist perspective sees the value of other cultures in a completely different way - often incredibly superficially when compared to the those within a culture.Thanks though - this essay reminded me of what a great book Achebe wrote!
    • 22/06/2004
    • 00:30:04
    • Score: 3 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
  • Steinbeck Biography

    Thought this was really interesting, well written and therefore easy to read.Thanks a lot!
    • 21/06/2004
    • 20:10:02
    • Score: 4 out of 4 people found this comment useful.
  • 'Do not go gentle...

    As others have said before me, your writing style is really enviable and this essay is just wonderful. I wish I had been taught poetry by someone with such a talent for bringing it to life.Thanks so much.
    • 24/05/2004
    • 21:32:32
    • Score: 37 out of 43 people found this comment useful.
  • 'Porphyria's Lover'

    A beautifully written and incredibly evocative essay on a fascinating poem.It flowed very well - and I think it was structured just perfectly.A real pleasure to read.Thank you!
    • 24/05/2004
    • 21:25:34
    • Score: 33 out of 41 people found this comment useful.
  • Have to agree...

    ...with pocketlint. The frequent reference to "Joseph Merrick - aka the Elephant Man' was incredibly distracting and really spoiled what was otherwise an interesting essay.
    • 23/05/2004
    • 22:06:23
    • Score: 4 out of 7 people found this comment useful.
  • Ghosts

    It's a shame you had such a bad experience seeing this play! Had you read it before you saw it - I did and must admit that I actually enjoyed reading it more than seeing it acted out.Your boredom and disinterest in the play really comes across - so it is actually hard to rate this essay well as an 'essay'.A lot of your comments seem to be comparing this play with more contemporary works, (setting, dialogue, issues) where really any assessment of Ibsen needs to take into consideration what had come before him as well as the era that he was writing in.If you haven't been put off Ibsen completely, try reading An Enemy of the People as maybe you will find that this has a lot more links to contemporary issues and may feel more relevant.Better luck with the next Ibsen play!!
    • 20/05/2004
    • 20:07:33
    • Score: 3 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
  • Sons & Lovers (study notes)

    I think this shows a good understanding of the characters in the novel, and you seem able to back up your views on Mrs Morel with examples from the text.Well done!
    • 19/05/2004
    • 20:29:22
    • Score: 4 out of 4 people found this comment useful.
  • Sorry...

    ...but this is really just an amalgamation of quotes without any sense of cohesion whatsoever. I understand that this is a philosophical outpouring, however I still think it could have been far more powerful with the use of more structure.Rather than asking a series of rhetorical questions at the end of your essay, you could have addressed them more intermittently throughout the body of the essay and provided some of the many quotes that you found to help guide the reader further.
    • 19/05/2004
    • 20:22:18
    • Score: 2 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
  • Hmmm...

    The introduction and conclusion look as though they have been written by a completely different person when compared to the main body of the essay!This might not be the case, but if you did write the whole essay yourself - you probably need to work on both the intro and conclusion a little.Also, making a statement about America being 'the greatest nation in the world' is probably a little one sided! Whilst I applaud your patriotism, maybe it is worth thinking about your reasons for making such a statement. You may well still feel that you are totally justified - which is fine - but it's important to understand how other people, of other nationalities might consider such a statement too.Thanks.
    • 19/05/2004
    • 20:10:11
    • Score: 3 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
  • Cruelty to animals

    I know this is a very emotive issue, but when you are writing an essay you often need to try and at least give the impression of a balanced viewpoint. You could have tried to get some quotes (if they exist) as to why these companies still feel it is necessary to use animals in their testing procedures. Then, you could demonstrate all the evidence that you have to show that their approach is a terrible one.I do commend you for your enthusiasm and passion - it's only when people take issue with injustice (in all its forms) that change will occur. Well done!
    • 19/05/2004
    • 19:56:48
    • Score: 3 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
  • SIDS

    This appears to be a well written and researched essay on an emotive issue.Just for your information, there is a theory regarding mattress wrapping which has been adopted by the New Zealand government following extensive research by Dr Jim Sprott (PhD in chemistry).He acknowledges the importance of many of the current SIDS guidelines but believes there is a link between toxic gases in mattresses and SIDS.There has never been a SIDS incident where parents have used this method. If anyone is interested in this issue, the official website is www.cotlife200.co.nz.
    • 19/05/2004
    • 19:48:17
    • Score: 5 out of 5 people found this comment useful.
  • Roman Forum

    Well written with a lot of factual detail in a short essay. I do think that you could have expanded on some of the points you raise, however overall you did a good job.
    • 19/05/2004
    • 19:33:39
    • Score: 3 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
  • Do Parents Matter?

    Is this the complete essay? It seems very disjointed and lacks any sense of cohesion. You have made no formal references to the articles that you seem to be discussing..I don't think I should go on! I'm sorry but I really have to agree with courlove7 on this one - I can't see how you would have received 82% at college level.
    • 19/05/2004
    • 06:43:23
    • Score: 2 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
  • So impressed

    A great poem - despite the awfulness of the events described, I really enjoyed reading this.Fantastic work.
    • 17/05/2004
    • 19:40:09
    • Score: 17 out of 18 people found this comment useful.
  • Wonderful

    So beautifully written - it has really inspired me to go and find this poem.I was particularly impressed by the fact that you addressed issues of relevancy so early on in the essay. A great technique to draw interest into what was really wonderful work.
    • 17/05/2004
    • 19:27:40
    • Score: 58 out of 66 people found this comment useful.
  • Very interesting

    This was a really well written and incredibly informative essay which has definitely made me want to look further into the whole Mozart Effect.Thank you!
    • 12/05/2004
    • 06:48:50
    • Score: 2 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
  • Home Schooling

    I thought the first half of this essay showed very one sided views. With less sweeping generalisations and a more balanced approach I think it would have been far more powerful.However, I think you redeemed yourself (!) in the second portion of the essay when you really focused on the arguments for and against home schooling itself. Here you showed some of the balance that was missing earlier.Should also add that I thought it was pretty well written so don't think I'm being totally negative!
    • 12/05/2004
    • 06:41:36
    • Score: 4 out of 4 people found this comment useful.
  • Rave

    Beautifully descriptive - a great essay.(I won't talk about some of the spelling mistakes because I always do that!)Really enjoyable though - well done!
    • 10/05/2004
    • 19:40:16
    • Score: 2 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
  • Interesting

    ...but you seem to have had to cover a huge topic in a very short essay. I think it would have been a better essay with a little more structure and planning.
    • 10/05/2004
    • 01:33:48
    • Score: 6 out of 7 people found this comment useful.
  • France

    I really enjoyed your essay and I think your enthusiasm for the whole experience in France really shines through.
    • 10/05/2004
    • 01:24:46
    • Score: 9 out of 12 people found this comment useful.
  • Moral Development

    Thanks so much - this was a really great essay. It was really helpful in outlining the stages of moral development and the interviews really helped give practical examples of how stages should be applied. It was a really thorough essay and has been really helpful. Thanks a lot.
    • 09/05/2004
    • 19:45:24
    • Score: 4 out of 4 people found this comment useful.
  • Ideal Education

    I thought this was an insightful essay and found it very interesting to hear your perspective on ideal education.Well done!
    • 09/05/2004
    • 19:24:56
    • Score: 4 out of 4 people found this comment useful.
  • Not quite what I thought it might be...

    From a creative writing perspective this essay is probably pretty good, but I was expecting more of a 'how to' approach to essay writing. With that in mind I have to agree with the other comments, in that a more structured approach would have been far more helpful.
    • 09/05/2004
    • 06:34:35
    • Score: 3 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
  • Pretty good

    I thought that some interesting points were raised, but that there could have been more elaboration or practical examples given. Just from a pedantic point of view, I thought there were quite a few grammatical and syntactical errors which were a little distracting.I also think that if you are going to talk about ZPD then you should really mention that it was Vygotsky who came up with this concept.Hope I'm not sounding too negative - because reading your essay did cover some interesting points. Thanks a lot
    • 09/05/2004
    • 00:33:24
    • Score: 2 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
  • Impressed!

    Thanks - this was very helpful in clarifying a core difference between Piaget and Vygotsky. Just what I needed!
    • 09/05/2004
    • 00:21:01
    • Score: 2 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
  • Piaget vs Vygotsky

    I thought that this was pretty well written with just a couple of small oversights, however, they didn\'t really detract from the content.I think you did well to convey such wide reaching topic in such a concise essay, however I think you might have given just a little more explanation to the \'zone of proximal development\'. Hope this doesn\'t sound too picky because I thought it was a good essay. Thanks!
    • 09/05/2004
    • 00:10:18
    • Score: 4 out of 4 people found this comment useful.