User Details For: glengem

Essay List
Comments List
  • Stupid White Men

    Another example of pork barrel legislation. Everyone should read or hear," Michael Moore "Stupid White Men"
    • 12/08/2004
    • 23:07:35
    • Score: 3 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
  • Finally

    This man should really get more recognition. I praise you for bring this to the forefront. And for everyone else reading this, please pick up "People's History of the United States"
    • 12/08/2004
    • 23:04:59
    • Score: 5 out of 6 people found this comment useful.
  • I like the evidence

    The abudance of evidence doesn't support a thesis about how censorship in anyway detrimentally affects our society's ability to think independently of the system we live in.
    • 09/08/2004
    • 22:00:53
    • Score: 3 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
  • Opinion?

    If this is opinion okay, but not for an essay. MLA Style Citing please!
    • 09/08/2004
    • 12:34:28
    • Score: 3 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
  • Sources Section missing

    Please have a Sources section amended to the end of each piece so cites like (Crime Library) will have meaning.
    • 09/08/2004
    • 12:33:06
    • Score: 3 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
  • Cites do not have page numbers

    where exactly in the novel did you get these quotes? Please be responsible enough to show where you got them.
    • 09/08/2004
    • 09:18:25
    • Score: 5 out of 5 people found this comment useful.
  • Avoid Slang "nature lover"

    Try to define explicitly what the phrase "Nature lover" means, because if you are trying to use a slang then I suggest you avoid doing it in the future. Its like using a short cut for something you need to use a formal word for.
    • 09/08/2004
    • 09:17:29
    • Score: 4 out of 4 people found this comment useful.
  • Sources please

    Sources
    • 09/08/2004
    • 09:15:50
    • Score: 2 out of 4 people found this comment useful.
  • Definition

    you need to define for your audience what Stylisation and artifice is. A little background about past accomplishments would be nice as well.
    • 09/08/2004
    • 09:15:21
    • Score: 3 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
  • Informative

    informative without sources.
    • 09/08/2004
    • 09:13:28
    • Score: 2 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
  • Clearer

    State your thesis clearer.
    • 09/08/2004
    • 09:13:01
    • Score: 2 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
  • Catch-22

    Like bfcohen said, this is reality. Thats why you need to promise to work at a part-time job for at least 1 year so they can avoid turnover. It doesn't really mean you need to honor it.
    • 09/08/2004
    • 09:11:44
    • Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
  • Outsourcing means globalization

    The trend towards for all this to break barriers and universally to decrease the rates of pay to all IT workers worldwide down. Its the capitalist conspiracy at work. This should be placed in business rather than Internet/Networking. Don't you think? Nothing really technical to talk about here, is there?
    • 07/08/2004
    • 12:42:04
    • Score: 3 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
  • Front and Center

    You need to state your thesis upfront, meaning your first paragraph.
    • 07/08/2004
    • 12:38:37
    • Score: 5 out of 6 people found this comment useful.
  • Nice

    Very well articulated.
    • 07/08/2004
    • 12:36:57
    • Score: 3 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
  • Eye Spy

    Please find structure in your writing and refrain from the use of the word "I".
    • 07/08/2004
    • 12:35:18
    • Score: 2 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
  • Harness your emotions

    Its a deeply passionate piece that shows no signs of proof reading. Its a jumble of words.
    • 07/08/2004
    • 12:33:05
    • Score: 7 out of 7 people found this comment useful.
  • Support

    Can you back up your claim from citing sources that Politically the United States was doing it to look strong? Although in most American Eyes you claim is correct, but Your piece is missing a support that would help make this piece strong.
    • 07/08/2004
    • 12:30:20
    • Score: 2 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
  • The Media is to blame

    Media not celebrities since celebrities are a product of the media. The media is a product of the market. The market is a product of the companies that sell us stuff. So in effect we are to blame for what we do to ourselves, because like this comment and reasoning reflect your point in that it's circular, thus rhethorical. Rhetorical meaning worthless, because it doesn't provoke further questions.
    • 28/06/2004
    • 02:54:21
    • Score: 7 out of 7 people found this comment useful.
  • Rename

    This essay should be renamed Sasser- A indepth analysis of the vulnerability of XP to worms.
    • 14/06/2004
    • 15:38:56
    • Score: 2 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
  • Issue

    Digital Rights Management- Encryption is the answer to protect music from being pirated.
    • 12/06/2004
    • 10:03:52
    • Score: 8 out of 12 people found this comment useful.
  • Come back.

    Which golden girl would you do?
    • 05/05/2004
    • 04:54:14
    • Score: 3 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
  • ...... ................. .... ...........

    What is up with the wierd spacing?
    • 30/04/2004
    • 12:49:20
    • Score: 3 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
  • ??

    Where is the works cited section? You clearly have sources.
    • 30/04/2004
    • 12:47:36
    • Score: 2 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
  • Passive Tense

    Freshman Composition - Quit Using Passive Tense like is, was, should (no suggestions, unless you are authority)
    • 30/04/2004
    • 12:12:40
    • Score: 6 out of 6 people found this comment useful.
  • Whistleblower Protection Act of 1989.

    With regard to public policy, if the company violates public policy then the empoyer cannot wrongfully discharge an employee therefore considered outside the realm of employment, because of Whistleblower Protection Act of 1989.
    • 13/01/2004
    • 20:27:21
    • Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
  • Well done..

    A few grammar mistakes, however well written.
    • 10/01/2004
    • 23:29:53
    • Score: 2 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
  • Interesting

    Well Written, because of it's flow regardless of your missing commas and lack of identation. You present ideas as facts. Please include a bibliography.
    • 10/01/2004
    • 23:28:00
    • Score: 3 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
  • Law

    Theres no law outlawing formatting your study notes is there?
    • 10/01/2004
    • 23:24:40
    • Score: 1 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
  • Wow no MD

    You must be God, because citing to you seems irrelevant.
    • 10/01/2004
    • 23:22:10
    • Score: 3 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
  • Where I stopped reading..

    Your first sentence needs to be two and your overusage of the - in the second needs to be replaced with a ";". I didn't rate it.
    • 10/01/2004
    • 23:14:52
    • Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
  • Bibliography saved you.

    Your grammar however inconsistent, because of inconsistent tense usage was made up for by the inclusion of a badly often omitted Cheathouse submitted essay bibliography.
    • 10/01/2004
    • 23:11:16
    • Score: 3 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
  • Too informal.

    Don't take the first person in a formal research paper as this seems to be. Include a bibliography section as this information I assume didn't come fully formed onto paper without inspiration.
    • 10/01/2004
    • 23:01:58
    • Score: 2 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
  • Reason

    Kazaa is full of fake files, This method doesn't.
    • 09/01/2004
    • 16:47:01
    • Score: 3 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
  • Scott Edwards.. The author?

    Put your cite of Scott Edwards under Sources. Otherwise, I didn't feel a mood being created or a thesis being established but rather a certain point for pointness, which if hasn't been graded can be a basis for grading down the essay. The vocabulary while expansive not consistent.
    • 09/01/2004
    • 13:08:02
    • Score: 2 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
  • Mistake

    Replace every reference to the writer's poll with the coaches poll. Coaches are obligated but not tied to vote the BCS Title game winner the national champion.
    • 09/01/2004
    • 12:58:53
    • Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
  • P2p not Exactly

    This is not what p2p encompasses, yes file sharing is what you covered, but not exactly p2p. P2p is the use of distributed computing power to work for an objective like Voice over IP. Like Skype.
    • 08/01/2004
    • 16:32:26
    • Score: 2 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
  • The hanging Chad ~rename your essay to that

    I like this essay, because of you state not just the obvious mistakes of our democracy but you put forth some radical ideas to change it that many of us have chosen to ignore, because of apathy. These ideas although well intentioned need to molded around solving the basic problem of our electoral system, which is the inaccracy of voting systems (Chads or computers), security and standardization.
    • 05/01/2004
    • 23:52:23
    • Score: 6 out of 6 people found this comment useful.
  • Malicious, Defamatory but Morally Reprehensible?

    Eminem is hateful toward his mother, Britney Spears and most importantly people in general undiscriminatory of sex whom did him wrong. However, this has got into trouble because his statements are malicious, defamatory, and sometimes outright lies however he's liable in that respect but it's extremely close to becoming a dangerous slippery slope towards state sanctioned religion when making laws based on morality. Please cite the structure of law making it legal to bar a preformer like Eminem in Canada.
    • 15/12/2003
    • 20:05:28
    • Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
  • Refreshing

    Refreshing take on acutal accounts?, because if so where did you get the source material for this, I am very intrigued to read more, Thanks for shedding some light on this disturbing occurence. I read accounts from previous international conflicts where this happened, but has this really happened in Iraq.
    • 12/12/2003
    • 16:17:08
    • Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
  • Astronomy

    Astronomy is not related to NASA, Astronomy is reclassified as a myth science.
    • 12/12/2003
    • 12:11:06
    • Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
  • Bowling for Colombine

    Is gun control the answer, I think maybe it's a conspiracy at the high levels of US Society to keep us afraid of our neighbors.~Paraphrased from Bowling for Colombine.
    • 25/09/2003
    • 12:34:10
    • Score: 6 out of 6 people found this comment useful.
  • Well Done

    I looked for it to fall off but the intensity from start to finish was constant. It can be likened to the Matrix meets Animal Farm narrated by Kevin Smith.
    • 23/09/2003
    • 22:18:55
    • Score: 4 out of 4 people found this comment useful.
  • Very detailed

    Okay, having not known of what this is I am guessing this is basically a summary from start to end. Yes, It's very detailed in chronological order but with a cohesive topic sentence to clue the reader through the thought progression. As an essay it needs to be better structured as to the points I made above. But as summary it can be better served to simply turn this into an outline using bullet points.
    • 19/09/2003
    • 21:56:08
    • Score: 2 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
  • Which Religion? Christian or Celtic

    You need to link each evolutionary step from the origin to the modern practice of Halloween in a coherent fashion.Also, you need to answer then is Halloween associated with Christian or the Celts. The reason I ask is because you categorized this in religion/faith which implies a definite religion. So please make that point to which religion does it belong to more clear. However, your work although has no works cited page shows exhaustive research on your part and should therefore be commended. Good Job!
    • 03/09/2003
    • 09:04:35
    • Score: 5 out of 5 people found this comment useful.
  • Well Done

    Short and sweet. Well Done. However I believe is miscategorized."Business"
    • 26/08/2003
    • 08:22:17
    • Score: 3 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
  • Answer

    I agree that people to a certain extent cannot control the circumstances of their birth however it most be noted that "one cannot change the future" is ludicrous, because the story of Oedipus Rex is steeped in Greek Religion so much that it cannot be used to compare with reality.
    • 26/08/2003
    • 08:05:56
    • Score: 5 out of 6 people found this comment useful.
  • Music is Free

    I like your point that downloading music does increase record sales and implying inferior music will be weeded out, because of the lack of a fanbase. I made a more comprehensive point regarding a more broad subject: Digital properties : http://www.cheathouse.com/essay/essay_view.php?p_essay_id=18109
    • 04/08/2003
    • 07:24:36
    • Score: 3 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
  • What? 14th ammendment aleady protects that

    Right to an abortion is preserved by the Brown v. Board of education case that led to equal protection under the law clause of the 14th ammendment, so making this argument is not doing much to further your cause, because you do not cite a specific incident to fight for. Please when spouting off about something please have someone read it first, because this is not a journal.
    • 31/07/2003
    • 13:26:11
    • Score: 4 out of 5 people found this comment useful.
  • Very Good

    Very well writen.
    • 28/07/2003
    • 23:30:19
    • Score: 3 out of 5 people found this comment useful.
  • Reexamine

    You don't examine your methods of anaylsis. Fundamental Flaw.
    • 28/07/2003
    • 23:20:06
    • Score: 3 out of 4 people found this comment useful.
  • Motherfu*$^!

    I would like to add that this is where the term "motherfu****" came from. Greeks regarded what he did as abomination to their religion and used this story to show that.
    • 28/07/2003
    • 15:20:03
    • Score: 4 out of 4 people found this comment useful.
  • Nice Eye

    Exactly where the motivation for this piece of writing came from, however not cited because it isn't related.
    • 28/07/2003
    • 14:48:29
    • Score: 4 out of 4 people found this comment useful.
  • Missing examples to better illustrate your point

    Honestly, I would like to know exactly what the name of the chip that they are trying to compete Intel with and also what are its features that sets it apart from Intel's chip that make it more efficient. You should have provided financial examples to back up your claim that Sun does not hold the market share in the OS sales and show an illustration of how through the years that since the inception of the project of Solaris the number of Solaris users dwindled or in fact increased the number of MS OS users to prove that McNealy's never give up attitude has detrimentally affected his companies bottom line. You could also give examples why he thinks he can win the OS Wars or Chip wars with past wins like the wins with Sun's Java suit against MS implementing a older version of Java in the initial version of XP to show uncapability problems with pages written in the newer version with older Java engines in IE browsers shipped with XP.
    • 09/06/2003
    • 23:23:43
    • Score: 11 out of 18 people found this comment useful.
  • Wrong category

    No cites, also this essay is miscategorized as world history which it should be recategorized as Humanities: Religion & Faith.
    • 08/06/2003
    • 14:13:53
    • Score: 4 out of 4 people found this comment useful.
  • Very touching

    Very moving story that touched my very soul. Interesting that I haven't heard such a story and did not that this thing existed but glad that someone had the enough courage to speak up. Thank you very much in opening my eyes to an example of the horrors that exist in this world. Your story will kept alive in my memory as I read it, visualizing every detail playing forth like a tape because of it's cliffhanger. I hope you get your freedom.
    • 06/06/2003
    • 17:29:20
    • Score: 2 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
  • American dream

    The american dream in whatever form it takes has its root in the illusion of happiness. You should've displayed Gatsby as a victim of the times and of societies misconception of what happiness really is rather than paint a picture of a money hungry man. I found it very comprehensive and well structured.
    • 06/06/2003
    • 12:58:28
    • Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
  • Very Interesting

    In your intro to the women in his life you only mention only one suicide attempt from Eva Braun his long time mistress when you later revealed that two more women had tried to commit suicide because of their love for Hitler. That part was a little confusing.When you referred to Hitler\'s sexual repression being the root for his madness, you said that implied that because his close companions were themselves homosexual they may have been more than close friends but actual potential lovers then it doesn\'t make sense that Hitler was sexually frustrated. He in fact was \"getting some\".You contradicted your last statement.The rest of the essay is filled with gay rumors about such and such without a topic statement in the beginning of each paragraph to help the reader understand exactly where you are going with it.Overall this is an interesting piece with a unique point of view and for that this essay should be praised.
    • 30/05/2003
    • 11:57:41
    • Score: 12 out of 13 people found this comment useful.
  • Moral

    alittle bit informal when in this sentence, "To me, the poem appears to be comparing our youthful years as being as valuable as gold. " . Make sure that you use the third person. I disagree with your interpretation when you said," So in the end "...nothing gold can stay..." which refers to the end of our innocence. (All quotes taken from pg69)", because along the lines of biblical references it could be implied that the writer was referring to the fact when you die your accumulation of wealth can not make one happy and can not be taken to the mythical heaven. Because at this point the character is talking retrospect and at the point where he is the most lucid, which is death he tries to impart the most important lesson of all. The lesson being that life should be lived the right way not the wrong way(morally), which is contrast much longer than the short lived ones that people like the 'outsiders' live.
    • 28/05/2003
    • 23:42:22
    • Score: 7 out of 7 people found this comment useful.
  • Full Disclosure is the only true choice

    Being honest is always the best policy. If they are truly yours they would no freak out but try to make your life much more livable. Because when you get married you are one no longer two.
    • 27/05/2003
    • 18:00:18
    • Score: 5 out of 5 people found this comment useful.
  • Explain

    Explain how prayer will help. Opinion like faith should be disclosed as such. Cite Zinn. Get a more objective perspective.
    • 21/05/2003
    • 02:04:55
    • Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
  • About time someone talked about this

    Very timely indeed.
    • 21/05/2003
    • 02:00:50
    • Score: 3 out of 5 people found this comment useful.
  • Unique

    Try citing with (Orwell 3) MLA correct page numbers. But this essay hits close to home since this is one of my favorite stories. Very unique approach in breaking the story's numerous themes down.
    • 21/05/2003
    • 01:58:05
    • Score: 2 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
  • Seriously Flawed

    Your argument although well meaning is a bit biased in its presentation. In its entirety you do not present evidence that supports your thesis which is convoluted at that. Please restate a thesis. Also, use cites. This is not a proper essay, This is an opinion paper disguised as a research paper. This is the worse example of PseudoJournalism I've ever seen. The reason I chose to throughly flame this essay was not to tear the writer down just illuminate unnoticed detrimental motivations which obviously underly this paper.
    • 21/05/2003
    • 01:49:15
    • Score: 2 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
  • Nice Job!

    Also I'd like to add some people I've experienced behave Jekyl and Hyde because of their Bipolar condition. So scary. Nice Job.
    • 21/05/2003
    • 01:42:11
    • Score: 3 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
  • Good Job Young One!

    work on your grammar, work on your spelling, work on your paragraph structure, use cites. Or categorize as Creative writing. But I don't want to hinder your progress by tearing it down, so my only criticism is always rewrite your work.
    • 16/05/2003
    • 02:45:54
    • Score: 0 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
  • Cite Sources

    Great paper, needs cites. I don't think this theory sprang up with any inspiration?
    • 14/05/2003
    • 21:38:42
    • Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
  • Cloning is not yet viable

    cloning will never be perfected. Mutations. Sheep with born with late stage arthritus.
    • 14/05/2003
    • 21:32:38
    • Score: 1 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
  • This essay has no thesis

    Please focus, no thesis. This is one long intro to nothingness.
    • 14/05/2003
    • 21:29:52
    • Score: 0 out of 0 people found this comment useful.
  • Is this supposed to be a moral piece

    seriously, what is this supposed to be book report, analysis what, commentary? It needs cites though, can't figure how this scored 100% at school.
    • 12/05/2003
    • 06:00:52
    • Score: 2 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
  • Words used are vague

    what does it mean when you refer to telemachus as a mere shadow of his father, please be more specific, actually state what he is rather than beating around the bush, because it makes it seem that you are trying to be fancy.
    • 12/05/2003
    • 05:59:15
    • Score: 2 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
  • Need cites at the end

    well written, kudos, however needs cites at the end to finish it off.
    • 12/05/2003
    • 05:57:37
    • Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
  • Little short

    whoo puff piece anybody?
    • 12/05/2003
    • 05:56:25
    • Score: 2 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
  • Book review or book report?

    I don't like this sentence "keep the reader interested so that they keep reading to find out what will happen next. Throughout the novel, they appear in many different forms.", because it makes it seem like you haven't read it.
    • 12/05/2003
    • 05:55:18
    • Score: 3 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
  • Your word usage

    the usuage of words is a little less than desired and a bit informal. A specific without saying too much. However the cites of particular helps it does little to emphasize grammar mistakes like comma splices.
    • 12/05/2003
    • 05:53:49
    • Score: 3 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
  • Beautiful

    Very well written paper. Wow
    • 12/05/2003
    • 05:51:06
    • Score: 2 out of 5 people found this comment useful.
  • What is this

    Is this supposed to be a summary, because it's not labeled in the title or mentioned as such in the intro which if it has a thesis is missing one.
    • 12/05/2003
    • 05:50:12
    • Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
  • A little short without cites

    You need more meat on this puppy plus it's miscategorized, it should be in myth. Also, try to contrast as well next time.
    • 12/05/2003
    • 05:48:51
    • Score: 3 out of 5 people found this comment useful.
  • Long winded

    I got lost in all your unnessesary words. Try to make it more concise. Add a cites page.
    • 12/05/2003
    • 05:46:31
    • Score: 3 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
  • Good on the surface

    Nice psycholgoical break down of each character and their motivations but it misses cites to back up what you are saying. Good job!
    • 12/05/2003
    • 05:44:43
    • Score: 2 out of 4 people found this comment useful.
  • Focus

    Please stress the quality of leadership with more emphasis. It gets lost in your details in trying to futily explain what it is.
    • 12/05/2003
    • 05:42:55
    • Score: 2 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
  • Shallow interpretation

    a hero according to joseph campbell is the ability to take a call to adventure, return, and have an elixer. These admirable qualities relating to morality are not what is stressed in Greek Mythology. The most important quality in Greek Mythology regarding heroes is the sense of duty to fulfilling their duty, whether it be handed to them or mistakenly stumbled upon. Of course on the surface people can rightfully judge the Gods as being immoral and conclude they provide ideal role models for mortals in the case of infidelity, rage, etc. etc. but your paper is shortsided. Please reread the stories more in depth.
    • 12/05/2003
    • 05:40:20
    • Score: 5 out of 5 people found this comment useful.
  • OPEC Connection?

    I wrote an essay on this subject when I was Freshman when Osama Bin Ladin first made his mark. I liked how pointed out that there is no direct link between terrorism and Iraq. I liked how you quoted the amount spent $200Billion. But you should've referenced the past when the United States did go to war without UN Approval. You should've also not stressed the oil factor which is key, because it's been a sticking point since the 70's and alot of people forget that. The reason USA goes to war is to introduce democracy and capitalism everywhere, which if you agree is the fairest economic system around. OPEC is a cartel having an elastic demand curve making them enemy number 1 for US producers who can't control the supply the way they need to from these countries. The OPEC countries which include most of the arab countries do not play by the same rules as the rest of the world, which is why the USA needed to go to war with IRAQ. It was not a statement war in the sense of terrorism but a statement war that the rest of the arab countries will soon be assimilated.
    • 24/04/2003
    • 17:21:47
    • Score: 3 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
  • Include Sources

    Informative: 90%Citing Sources: 0%Content: 95%Grammar: 85%(Forgot to ident when beginning paragraphs and forgot to include commas throughout)Grade: 68% D+
    • 24/04/2003
    • 17:12:19
    • Score: 4 out of 7 people found this comment useful.
  • VCD IS BETTER

    DIVX IS NOT THE BEST THEIR IS. IT'S A LITTLE PIXELATED. AND DVD IS NOT THE BE ALL END ALL OF VIDEO FORMATS. NEWER AND BETTER FORMATS ARE JUST ON THE HORIZON. TEACH HIM HOW TO CONVERT DVDS TO VCD. MUCH MORE PRACTICAL IF YOU ASK ME.
    • 05/03/2003
    • 01:58:44
    • Score: 3 out of 4 people found this comment useful.
  • Please cite sources

    Howard Zinn" People's History of the United States",
    • 04/03/2003
    • 11:16:37
    • Score: 5 out of 6 people found this comment useful.
  • Very imformative

    needed an intro though.
    • 04/03/2003
    • 04:28:57
    • Score: 9 out of 11 people found this comment useful.
  • Very well written

    Kudos to the writer.
    • 04/03/2003
    • 03:47:54
    • Score: 7 out of 7 people found this comment useful.
  • One big long opinion

    Cite some facts along with your detailed opinion. Hot air..
    • 04/03/2003
    • 03:17:35
    • Score: 11 out of 13 people found this comment useful.
  • Content

    What happened to the intro?
    • 04/03/2003
    • 03:16:04
    • Score: 12 out of 18 people found this comment useful.
  • Essay doesn't flow right

    Needs better structure and better transitions. Very confusing to read.
    • 04/03/2003
    • 03:14:41
    • Score: 8 out of 8 people found this comment useful.
  • Very imformative essay

    Nicely written.
    • 04/03/2003
    • 03:08:55
    • Score: 7 out of 8 people found this comment useful.
  • Please cite your facts.

    Need to your sources, whatever they may be. Otherwise it appears to be one long rant.
    • 04/03/2003
    • 03:06:10
    • Score: 6 out of 6 people found this comment useful.
  • Could you say puff piece

    I do not understand why this is an important topic.
    • 03/03/2003
    • 21:25:51
    • Score: 6 out of 8 people found this comment useful.
  • Comical

    Your letter seems a bit like a commercial. Where these actors read scripts that aren't really their real feeling or words for that matter. Make it believable. Must use informal tone.
    • 03/03/2003
    • 11:26:28
    • Score: 7 out of 7 people found this comment useful.
  • Intro needed.

    You need an intro to introduce your position in the company. You went straight into the meat.
    • 03/03/2003
    • 11:23:26
    • Score: 12 out of 12 people found this comment useful.
  • Nature vs. Nurture

    What makes Hillary Clinton on expert on Child rearing, does she carry a degree in this field? Needs to be more focused. No proof of test to prove the point that nurture is more powerful than nature.
    • 03/03/2003
    • 11:18:34
    • Score: 9 out of 9 people found this comment useful.
  • Needs more detail

    Focus more on the after effects of the new deal programs, like social security etc. etc.
    • 03/03/2003
    • 11:13:01
    • Score: 13 out of 13 people found this comment useful.
  • HELLO,

    Recategorize this under Article. Is this supposed to be an essay? I don't get it.
    • 03/03/2003
    • 04:05:33
    • Score: 8 out of 9 people found this comment useful.
  • Very Good

    Nice content, needs a bit more structure. Stick with it. Cite pages to prove your point.
    • 03/03/2003
    • 04:03:12
    • Score: 7 out of 7 people found this comment useful.
  • DONT USE SLANG

    Is this essay formal or non formal?, because the slang needs to be eliminated from this piece. Please refrain from using slang. It is not proper.
    • 03/03/2003
    • 04:00:27
    • Score: 8 out of 9 people found this comment useful.
  • Take a stance

    You leave the reader hanging with a great bunch of related reasons why terrorism exist but never choose one to focus on. Have some balls take a stance.
    • 03/03/2003
    • 03:57:48
    • Score: 19 out of 21 people found this comment useful.
  • Nice try!

    You need to explain the inner conflict of reality in more depth. Vocabulary needs work.
    • 02/03/2003
    • 21:34:26
    • Score: 8 out of 9 people found this comment useful.
  • No Cite of Facts

    Need to cite facts from sources to back up your figures you put down. Good Content.
    • 02/03/2003
    • 21:30:19
    • Score: 8 out of 8 people found this comment useful.
  • No alternative theories

    You did not introduce another reason why they don't use geothermal energy. Because it is more expensive which you should've also quoted. I do not know how you did it but you somehow quoted incorrectly and did not use them right. You made three points. About how we use to much oil, geothermal alternatives are plentiful, and the last least explained is because we do not know about it. You should explained this better using a better resource, Howard Zinn's"People's History of U.S". It will give you better insight into US Economic Policy.
    • 02/03/2003
    • 21:14:26
    • Score: 12 out of 13 people found this comment useful.
  • You do not cite any facts

    I agree with your opinion, however citing facts and stats that back your statements.
    • 02/03/2003
    • 21:07:33
    • Score: 10 out of 10 people found this comment useful.
  • Is this opinion or or theory?

    You seem to opinionated with citing theories or facts that prove your point. It needs work. Nice vocabulary though.
    • 02/03/2003
    • 20:59:02
    • Score: 8 out of 8 people found this comment useful.
  • Again, need better transitions.

    This line in your second paragraph should be reworded,"I could feel the stares from people in all directions, looking at this child." or replaced by this "the onlookers' silent riducle bounced off this beautiful child leaving me with questions."Also, in this paragraph you opinion begins to bleed on the page killing your story to a point. And your transitions need work.
    • 02/03/2003
    • 20:55:02
    • Score: 12 out of 12 people found this comment useful.
  • Nice

    MLA Style of Citation must include the Title of the source next to the web address in the footnote. Also, the content was great and comes at a great time. Controversy abound by these new drugs which often kill than they help.
    • 02/03/2003
    • 02:20:31
    • Score: 7 out of 7 people found this comment useful.
  • Oedipus is a complex

    Psychological method of analysis says Oedipus is symbolic for the male species as a whole collective desire to have sex with their mother and kill their father. Oedipus's fate was sealed by Men before him which is the ultimate theme of any myth is that life is a series of choices, however not necessarily made by us. You alluded to this point but did not concrete put it into words which I think you should've. You should've explain the concept more carefully without repeating yourself the way you did. Nice word choice.
    • 02/03/2003
    • 02:16:38
    • Score: 9 out of 9 people found this comment useful.
  • No explanations with each quote

    It was more of a list without citations or explanations attached to each one rather than an essay.
    • 01/03/2003
    • 20:37:45
    • Score: 11 out of 11 people found this comment useful.
  • Very Good recitation of the DMV manual

    I think I remember seeing this in the DMV Safedriving notebook when I went to traffic school.
    • 01/03/2003
    • 18:48:19
    • Score: 11 out of 11 people found this comment useful.
  • This doesn't reveal technology

    In the category of technology this should recategorized under Technology->History. As to the real guts of Technology,none was really introduced though. Also, transitions structurally need work going from one point to the next. Good History paper though.
    • 01/03/2003
    • 16:41:13
    • Score: 12 out of 13 people found this comment useful.
  • Missing a point

    You do not present the other side of this argument and that is that mishaps come in the form of mutated babies. It took many miscarriages until Dolly successful showed cloning's promise. They still haven't perfected it yet. You should have enclosed a brief description in the process of cloning, how is it done.
    • 01/03/2003
    • 06:06:47
    • Score: 11 out of 11 people found this comment useful.
  • Great Gatsby

    You miss the point that Gatsby was a perpetual dreamer. His ideals are that of adolescent in puppy love. What's tragic is that he is a man living a faded yet in his mind real dream of what love was. This is illustrated by the fact that he doesn't mind amassing his wealth illegally and the respectability he loses if Daisy finds out, but doing it just to simply impress her. He wasn't in love with what Daisy represented which is old money, but he was in love with Daisy, because he really did love her. He did not see any of her flaws. He wanted to woo her like he did before the war. This is the only way he knew how. A man of his background couldn't do it legally so he did it illegally. But he did it not for his own enjoyment as was shown by the fact that he did not read his books or danced at his own parties. He did not hobnob with the people there because he was only interested in one thing. The person across the lake, which is Daisy. He would have read the books to impress old money people who would've quizzed him naturally but he didn't showing he no inclinations of impressing old money people. All the people he invited were new money type of people anyway. He despised old money, which is represented by Tom Buchanan. Through the eyes of Nick, you see all of Tom's flaws. Gatsby hated how Tom abused Daisy and slept with Mertyle. Gatsby wanted everything that Tom was and more, the man whom she was knew. But unlike before he was stained by the fact that his own business was illegal and thus unrespectable.
    • 01/03/2003
    • 06:00:36
    • Score: 11 out of 11 people found this comment useful.