Who Am I?

Essay by iamagirl May 2006

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Maria clenches her fists while looking at her watch. It is just before two o'clock. Desperate to get home, she cannot help but pray that the next several minutes of her English class go by as fast as possible. The bell rings, and without any hesitation she pops up from her desk. Moments later, she finds herself more than relieved to have set foot in her front yard. "Mom, I'm home," Maria shouted as she unwittingly slams the door behind her. "Hi sweetheart, I am in the kitchen preparing your favorite dessert for tonight," her mother exclaims. Maria runs to her room, throws off her backpack and quickly heads for the kitchen. "How was school?" her mother, Beatriz asks. Before Maria could even respond to her mother's question she began crying hysterically. "Qué está equivocado...qué está equivocado (what is wrong)?" Beatriz asks. It took Maria about 10 minutes before she could actually speak one word.

She closed her eyes and dozed back into the past. Just a little over a year ago, Maria's father had passed in a nauseating and unexpected shooting. She had witnessed this event from the living room window. Days, then eventually weeks had passed and she told herself that she would go about her life as if it never happened. Unfortunately, she came to realize that pretending was not working and she became very disturbed. She knew that she had developed a severe case of depression along with the inability to function during school, but would do anything to keep her mother from finding out. She suffered from extreme headaches throughout the day and had frequently experienced her nights ending with unusual sleeping patterns. "Mom," she said "there is something that I have been holding in for a long time now and it is important...