I Do Not Want to Be Superwoman

Essay by rosiris February 2008

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Have you ever felt so overwhelmed by everything, that you only want to send everything to hell? Have you ever felt that people don’t care? Have you ever tried to be positive, but the news that everyone gives you are negative and you just can’t cope with it? Have you ever tried to balance or at least have a social life while being great at school? Have you ever been able to accomplish this? Well… I haven’t, but I have felt all of these. Sometimes being superwoman is not the best thing that could happen to you.

I have been described as the superwoman of my class by many. I try to juggle my life, but sometimes I feel extremely lonely. Sometimes I feel secluded. Sometimes… well… sometimes I even wish that I wasn’t even alive. Trying to please everyone is something that I will never achieve, but that’s what the unappeasable do not understand.

I try to be the best I can, but this is not enough. I try to convince everyone that I am who I am, but it is not enough. I try to be me but it isn’t enough. IT ISN’T ENOUGH FOR YOU, OR YOU, OR YOU, OR YOU. IT ISN’T ENOUGH FOR MY FAMILY, MY CLASSMATES, AND MY FRIENDS. IT ISN’T ENOUGH FOR ANYONE. GOD DAMN IT, WHY DO I HAVE TO PLEASE YOU AND WHY CAN’T I JUST RELAX IN MY OWN PACE. WHY DO I HAVE TO BE YOU AND NOT BE ME? WHY CAN’T I PLEASE MYSELF.

Isn’t it enough that I have to live a life in which my thoughts are of another person. Isn’t it enough that I am not able to enjoy to the fullest my teenage years. Isn’t it enough that my dreams are really yours. Isn’t...