I admit it was just pretend at the start
but somehow you captured my heart
afraid to admit our love was true
I turned my back and hurt you
The Sharp words, weapons to hurt.
Too busy making a living to flirt.
Lost opportunities, now that's all.
Every hurt, another brick in my wall.
Turning my back to hurt you,
promised never to dessert you.
I hurt you with a great big lie.
To this day I don't know why
Being with me in your wholeness dear,
is too much torture for you I fear.
Unworthy of love, and unworthy of you
my fortunes are cursed, I feel it's true.
For protection I built the wall,
for security I made it really tall.
But it shut you out from me,
limiting the horizons I see.
Trapped inside my man-made cage.
Filled with unreasonable rage.
Fooled by my own foolish dreams.
Deaf now to my own terrified screams.
Worthless is the dark self image I now paint.
Abandoned by the dreams I hoped to find.
Fallen and filthy, I can no longer be a saint.
Absorbed in my darkness I've become blind.
I cannot ask for anyone to change, you see
but I pray the changes to begin with me.
Let it be me that is made into someone new
and someday maybe I'll be good enough for you .
As I leave I take my final bow
to exit and to leave you somehow
yet I can still see through my tears
leaving now is hard after these years
Hurting I turn my back on you
Desserting I've left you