Complexity - A Poem

Essay by 4NIC8 February 2005

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I promised you a long time ago that once I formed the words, I would tell you exactly how I felt

Some time has passed now and those perfect words have not yet been dealt.

There are no words to describe these feelings, they are much too complex

I realize that I place you in complete control with the words that I utter next.

Desperately trying to seperate and repress the feelings of romance, fighting a fight that seemed to have no end

Convincing myself over and over that you were simply a friend.

There's something absolutely magnetic about you that keeps me going unwillingly on this course

Perhaps I should stop saying unwillingly because no choice in life is forced.

I often try to cast these feelings to the recesses of my mind

but they do not wane and only continue to grow over time.

When I am with you, time seemingly stands still,

It hasn't been this way in so long, I almost forgot how to feel.

Becoming emotionally detached being hurt by those I claimed to have loved

Until you came and in you I put my trust.

Minutes without you seem like hours, hours like days, days like years

Trying to put the picture of my life together without you brings me to tears.

Everyday dealing with these emotions is a struggle

A daily fight of trying to balance the juggle

So now I find myself in the place

And it's the truth that I must now face

Knowing now what I've said to you, I cannot erase.

The need to wonder is no more

I've let you into my inner core.

I'm into you with such intensity

With feelings described simply as complexity.

(c) 2004 D. Thomas