User Details For: Keir

Essay List
  • Who was responsible for the Cold War?

  • The West was responsible for the deaths in Hungary in 1956

  • Coursework Topic: The correlation between GDP per capita against Life expectancy at Birth in different countries

  • Three Main Events that Caused the Escalation of the Cold war up to the Berlin Blockade

  • Problems with Industrialisation during the first 5 year plan

  • THE DEFENCE OF SEVASTOPOL (1854 - 1855) (Undying Pride of the Ukraine)

  • Evaluate the ways in which Khrushchev tried to ease tension after the Hungarian Revolution.

  • McCarthy- Force for Good or Evil?

  • Evaluate the ways in which Khrushchev tried to ease the tension after the Hungarian revolution.

  • Why it was North Korea that made the initial attack in the Korean War on June 25, 1950.

  • The management techniques used to combat desertification near Beijing, and evaluation of the effectiveness of this effort.

  • Was the A-bomb's Use Justified?

  • Identify two principles of Communism and assess how these principles were put into practice by one Communist ruler between 1900 and 1990.

  • Assess the main achievements of Détente

  • Assess the main achievements of détente

  • "Ideological differences played little part in the origin of the Cold War." How far do you agree with this judgment?

  • Analyse the role of Cuba in the development of the Cold War

  • To what extent was Germany weakened through loss of territory militarily and economically?

  • Compare the importance of three problems which contributed to the overthrow of the Tsar in 1917.

  • Why was the Tsar overthrown in 1917?

  • Three main causes for the fall of the Tsar

  • Assess the significance in a) The July days b) The Kornilov coup c) The delay in setting up the constituent assembly in affecting the position of the Bolsheviks.

  • Explain the change in fortunes for the Bolsheviks during the time of the Provisional Government up to its takeover of power

  • Causes for the Russian Civil War

  • WHY WAS THERE A CIVIL WAR IN RUSSIA IN 1918?

  • THE RUSSIAN CIVIL WAR 1918-1921

  • Why the Reds won the Russian Civil War

  • Effects of the first 5 Year Plan

  • Evaluate the containment policy in Europe from 1945-1950

  • What were the results of the five year plans

  • Evaluate the ways in which the United States tried to contain communism (up to 1950)

  • The Results of Stalin's first 5 Year Plan

  • Evaluate the ways in which the U.S. tried to contain communism.

  • What were the economic reasons for collectivisation and was collectivisation an economic success in the 1930s?

  • Serendipity as a minor facet of human science

  • Should the blame for the failure of the British Terra Nova Expedition (1911) be assigned to poor weather conditions and other external circumstances or Scott's leadership?

  • Why is the resistance of the South during the Italian liberation against the Germans during WWII ignored, or hardly remembered?

  • A discussion about population size, population composition and function of the village in rural areas with an explanation of the differences between villages in MEDCs and LEDCs.

  • To what extent did the Cultural Revolution in China affect the destruction and elimination of all religious institutions in Albania (1967-1970)?

  • Why is the resistance of the South during the Italian liberation against the Germans during WWII ignored, or hardly remembered?

  • To what extent was James Cook figure used as a mythological tool to account for the imposition of Western ideas in Hawaii?

  • The League of Nations: Strengths and Weaknesses

  • How strong was the League of Nations?

  • What was the immediate damage of the Turkish invasion of Cyprus of 1974 to the island?

  • Why was the relationship between western and eastern Europe so hostile between 1946 and 1961?

  • Should the blame for the failure of the British Terra Nova Expedition (1911) be assigned to poor weather conditions and other external circumstances or Scott's leadership?

  • What hurt the League more, the Manchurian Crisis or Abyssinian Crisis?

  • Which was a greater source for the Nigerian civil war also called the Biafran war: Amalgamation or Tribalism?

  • To What extent had the Zambian leadership been the source of conflict in the year 1990?

  • How did the CCP's land reform policy help the party to win the Chinese civil war between 1946 and 1949?

  • To what extent did economic considerations influence the American decision to go to war in Korea?

  • The Manchurian and the Abyssinian Crisis hurt the League of Nations equally.

  • What hurt the League more, the Manchurian Crisis or the Abyssinian Crisis?

  • The League of Nations in the 1930's

  • To what extent could the Cold War have been avoided?

  • Write a letter to the school newspaper expressing the advantages of having a gap year.

  • My complete refutation of the book of Genesis verse by verse.

  • My complete and Utter refutation of the Bible: EXODUS

  • My continued complete refutation of the Bible verse by verse: Leviticus

  • A Short essay on how the Russian Provisional Government was adversely affected by the 'July Days'

  • To what extent could the cold war be prevented?

  • To what extent did the US deterrence successfully contain communism?

  • Compare and contrast the role of Lenin and Trotsky in establishing and contributing to the communist state in Russia from 1917-1924.

  • Write a literary essay about the connection between the title "The Judgment", and the phrase "unending stream of traffic" in the last sentence

  • My roomate Ernie- the stupidest man to ever have been given a teaching job. Part I

  • Some first-hand observations of China in the run-up to the Beijing Olympics

  • Is the Huankantou incident the beginning of the end of communist rule in China?

  • An optimistic look at the future fuel crisis

  • Wendel the Aftermath: D-Day +1

  • Stalin: Was He Really so Bad?

  • To what extent did Radio Free Europe actively encourage the Hungarian Revolution of 1956?

  • Which do you think was the biggest cause of the war- the Munich Agreement (Britain giving Hitler Sudetenland) or Hitler's invasion of Czechoslovakia?

  • Which do you think was the biggest cause of the war, Munich Agreement or Hitler's invasion of Czechoslovakia?

  • The Munich agreement and the Czechoslovakian invasion

  • Which do you think was the biggest cause of the war- the Munich Agreement or Hitler's invasion of Czechoslovakia?

  • What directly led to Hitler's invasion of Poland?

  • To What Extent did Appeasement Cause World War 2?

  • Appeasement in the 30s- How it directly led to the Second World War.

  • Appeasement, Schmeasement: Was it really so bad?

  • Why did Chamberlain's policies for appeasement change from 1938-1939?

  • What were the factors that led to Chamberlain's policy of appeasement changing from 1938 to 1939?

  • Appeasement and how it changed by the start of the Second World War

  • What were the real factors that led to the discreditation of Appeasement as a policy for foreign diplomacy?

  • Q: Why on earth did Chamberlain's policy change from 1938 to 1939?

  • Cycling in Ireland- Does Irish society support it, and will it do so in the future?

  • Formal letter to the Head of the International Bacalaureate

  • A Study of the Differences in Ideology between the West & The USSR.

  • Short report outlining the reasons why the USA developed the policy of containment.

  • In the lead-up to the Truman Doctrine.

  • Why Did Truman initiate his so-called Truman Doctrine in 1947?

  • There are many different authorities who make knowledge claims. What criteria do you use to distinguish between knowledge, opinion and propaganda?

  • The Importance of Reason and Emotion in Distinguishing between Belief and Knowledge.

  • Can one morally support the Iraqi insurgents?

  • How does China's fascist-style government help/impede economic growth and the well-being of its subjects?

  • Ways in which statistics can be used or misused to assist and mislead us, and how we can determine whether to accept the statistical evidence that is present to us.

  • Numbers, Deuteronomy, Joshua, Judges, Ruth and the Two books of Samuel: My continued refutation of the Bible verse-by-verse.

  • A concise essay on territorial disputes from the context of Chinese territorial demands.

  • Tackling the evil that was "Mao" in light of Jung Chang's new biography.

  • Why did the USA develop the policy of containment?

  • Comparison of Three Factors that led to the Great War.

  • Comments List
    • Sources?

      Without any use of citation, there is no evidence of extensive research.
      • 17/03/2008
      • 15:27:35
      • Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
    • Very well written

      The facts are there, but what is most impressive is your ability to seemingly use little effort in explaining them in a very readable, concise way.
      • 17/03/2008
      • 15:26:31
      • Score: 0 out of 0 people found this comment useful.
    • Great use of historians

      Very extensive and varied account of the historiography. most helpful; thanks.
      • 17/03/2008
      • 15:24:55
      • Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
    • Excellent

      Very concise yet knowledgeable with reference to a number of eminent historians providing sophisticated analysis and different interpretations.
      • 10/06/2007
      • 19:41:30
      • Score: 3 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
    • Very well done.

      Clearly written, concise, with a number of historians providing additional weight with consideration given to historiography.
      • 04/04/2007
      • 18:21:56
      • Score: 0 out of 0 people found this comment useful.
    • Desultory

      About as long as a footnote. Your teacher allows essays of under 200 words from GRADE 10 students?
      • 31/03/2007
      • 05:39:18
      • Score: 0 out of 0 people found this comment useful.
    • Nothing about his rise

      You ignore 10 years of history when you simply say he used politics to gain power after his aborted putsch attempt in 1923. But by the mid-point, 1928, he had 97% of Germans voting AGAINST him. HOW did he rise to power?
      • 10/05/2006
      • 03:17:16
      • Score: 1 out of 5 people found this comment useful.
    • Well researched

      I disagree completely with your conclusions by simply citing the Treaty of Westphalia, but you presented your points clearly and presuasively. As for your conclusion, so many evil regimes are allies of America that it rather makes a mockery of your claim that a nonentity such as Iraq which could not even fly in its own country due to Anglo-US air restrictions should merit singular punishment when its neighbours are key allies.
      • 24/04/2006
      • 18:27:14
      • Score: 0 out of 4 people found this comment useful.
    • Emotion and factual information

      Have you never read the opinion section of the newspaper? It provides facts in an emotional way; would you simply have them related drily and bore the reader to death People in Britain who knew the Nazi threat were not patiently relating facts and stats about each synagogue being destroyed to alert the nation to danger. Besides, this wasn't written for a report.
      • 17/04/2006
      • 18:34:09
      • Score: 1 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
    • Thanks zurask

      Great points you mentioned, especially the true meaning of what history entails. I would ask you why Britain should have 'rushed in' to help the USSR though when the USSR signed its pact with Hitler voluntarily, raping Poland and the baltics while standing by and actively supporting Hitler as he bombed London when Britain stood alone.
      • 09/04/2006
      • 00:21:37
      • Score: 0 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
    • Some leader...

      I feel that Hitler had very simplistic ideas who benefitted from the situation he inherited and from the economic work of others such as Schacht. His rule was based on tyranny precisely because at its greatest, he only managed 44% support and it was disorganised and chaotic. The only way he could fulfil his ridiculous promises was through war which destroyed his country. Stalingrad falls on his shoulders alone. His attempt to create a European Union was doomed from the start becuase of his mindless racist ideology whereby Germans couldn't even have contact with Italians in factories, and they were his allies!
      • 01/04/2006
      • 05:46:38
      • Score: 2 out of 4 people found this comment useful.
    • Requires an update

      After Body Shop sold out all its principles and apparent 'high ideals' to L'Oreal over the weekend, I think another essay outlining its hypocrisy is in order.
      • 20/03/2006
      • 01:42:57
      • Score: 1 out of 4 people found this comment useful.
    • I agree

      Here in China I can't even teach the IB curriculum because ALL information is censored. When we had SARS one old man whose wife died bemoaned the fact that he didn't know English and thus couldn't go online and find out was really happening.
      • 14/03/2006
      • 18:36:37
      • Score: 0 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
    • Helter Skelter

      Wouldn't you say that this track from the double White Album inspired the sound that Led Zeppelin would later attain?
      • 13/03/2006
      • 23:40:37
      • Score: 1 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
    • Question

      I notice two people (one no doubt the author of this 'essay' saw fit to give me negative ratings for my comments, but no-one dared offer any positive rating for the essay itself. So, the question is: "What exactly is wrong in my comment?"
      • 01/03/2006
      • 20:03:59
      • Score: 2 out of 4 people found this comment useful.
    • Outstanding analysis

      It happens to be among my favourite of speeches, and one I was taught to memorise. You however clearly point out how it colours a much darker and less-egalitarian Athens in an accessible way. I suppose I would have spent more time providing concrete examples of wars lost (not sure Pericles said Athens was invincible, simply that they fought their own battles and feared no one) and and analysis of the rampant discrimination.
      • 28/02/2006
      • 18:49:32
      • Score: 2 out of 4 people found this comment useful.
    • Very Good

      Clear and succinct account of America's own Dreyfus Affair. Even today it's a deeply disturbing case, and I particularly liked how you bring the trial into the present with contemporary examples such as that of Mumia Abu-Jamal.
      • 28/02/2006
      • 18:41:52
      • Score: 1 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
    • Atrocious grammar and vocabulary

      You expect me to believe that a high school, student actually wrote: "The Shakers had set new ideas of women equality were as the Mormon accepted polygamy as a social norm"?It's women's equality, not 'women equality'. Whereas, not 'were as'. the 'Mormons' PLURAL, not one Mormon. It's 'their', not 'there'. Oh, and learn to spell 'civil'.
      • 26/02/2006
      • 21:10:51
      • Score: 1 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
    • Some point

      It's easier to simply mark down a comment than have to reply to it and defend yourself, isn't it?
      • 18/02/2006
      • 01:53:29
      • Score: 0 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
    • The Great Flood....

      Yeah. Put that fairytale in schools. Explain where all the water evaporated to after 40 days of rain. Or how penguins and kangaroos managed to make it all the way from the oposite end of the earth to get to Palestine to board a BIG boat. What did they all eat? All the animals finally get to leave the ark. So what did they eat?Explain the irony in that no sooner does Noah finally accomplish his task of saving every type of animal on the face of the planet than he then sacrifices every clean beast, and of every clean fowl. Given vi.19-20 states that Noah collected simply two of every animal on earth, does that not rather defeat the whole point of rescuing them in the first place if he is then expected to cause their very extinction?Explain too how Yahweh killed every human on earth including innocent children after arbitrarily choosing to save four people. How can such a God be considered anything other than evil? It is like setting fire to your block of flats to get rid of cockroaches!
      • 14/02/2006
      • 18:15:19
      • Score: 1 out of 5 people found this comment useful.
    • Shameful.

      Were you going to break up an essay into a dozen tiny parts to get the maximum number of points?
      • 14/02/2006
      • 18:04:00
      • Score: 0 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
    • WHAT?

      How can you claim that "Without him, we would not have a country that stretches from sea to sea." when he was hanged (not 'hung') for trying to prevent Manitoba from being forced into Confederation!?!?
      • 18/01/2006
      • 04:37:59
      • Score: 1 out of 5 people found this comment useful.
    • OK

      You need to write in a more formal style for your level. At times it reads more from one in Middle School than in the senior year. Very short sentences with irrelevant definitions (such as dynasty). Try to use more critcal fact and evidence to show you know more than basic points one could obtain from any website.
      • 18/01/2006
      • 00:02:12
      • Score: 1 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
    • Very good.

      Completely different in terms of research, argument and logic from your rather ludicrous essay on abortion. You even cite respectable sources!
      • 12/01/2006
      • 10:21:14
      • Score: 0 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
    • Oh boy. Another redneck rant...

      "Abortion is the killing of a to-be human being, which should not be done." According to YOU. Not all of us are rednecks from the US."Contraception is also wrong because it is essentially doing the same thing."How the hell does contraception, which prevents conception (I assume you boycott all science classes back in Kansas) KILL those not yet conceived?! This is why Americans are all objects of ridicule and contempt outside the US and explains the continuing farce that is Iraq.I notice you only chose 'sources' that conform to your own prejudice.
      • 11/01/2006
      • 09:54:42
      • Score: 0 out of 4 people found this comment useful.
    • Outstanding effort

      Certainly the longest submission I've come across...But, what differentiates the two sources you use: www.bankofengland.com and www.bankofengland.co.uk?
      • 11/01/2006
      • 09:41:39
      • Score: 0 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
    • Oooops..

      Thought this was going to be a paper about the Irish Republican Army.....
      • 10/01/2006
      • 23:59:46
      • Score: 0 out of 4 people found this comment useful.
    • Gruesome account.

      I had no idea the procedure was that drastic or painful. Thanks for alerting us tio this INhumane act.
      • 10/01/2006
      • 23:46:50
      • Score: 2 out of 4 people found this comment useful.
    • This is a college essay?

      No sources, no citing, no evidence, no facts. If this is from an American college no wonder Americans still believe in myhts and legends.
      • 09/01/2006
      • 18:42:16
      • Score: 1 out of 6 people found this comment useful.
    • Thanks Serena.

      I agree, especially living in China where the people simply seem to be conducting a vicious war against the environment. If anything, the Olympic preparations are creating an even greater level of devastation, but the IOC doesn't care, nor does it care that its athletes have to breathe in this noxious air; it just cares about money.
      • 26/12/2005
      • 02:17:37
      • Score: 0 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
    • Glad you found it.

      Especially given the 25th anniversary of the day he was taken from us....
      • 20/12/2005
      • 03:37:08
      • Score: 1 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
    • Update.

      According to the New York Times (http://nytimes.com/2005/12/17/international/asia/17china.html) the government's cover-up of the dozens of villagers it massacred on December 6 is so "carefully planned that the small town looks like a relic from the Cultural Revolution, as if the government had decided to re-educate the entire population." It goes on to say that just like 35 years ago, today there are banners everywhere, "with slogans in big red characters proclaiming things like, 'Stability is paramount' and 'Don't trust instigators'" (unless of course they come heavily armed and in the pay of the government).Residents of Dongzhou, a small town "now cordoned off by heavy police roadblocks and patrols", have said that they had "endured beatings, bribes and threats at the hands of security forces in the week and a half after their protest against the construction of a power plant was violently put down." Bodies of the dead have not been returned because they were "so riddled with bullets that they would contradict the government's version of events." What is most disgusting is that the government has blackmailed its own people that if they must explain the murder of their relatives "they should simply say their relatives were blown up by their own explosives." This is the government that has been seen as worthy of hosting the 2008 Olympics.The article goes on to say that "(i)f the family members speak this way they are being promised 50,000 yuan ($6,193), and if not, they will be beaten and get nothing out of it.""The story is being spread around the village that people were not killed by bullets, but by bombs," said one man interviewed Friday by telephone. "That's rubbish. Everybody knows they were killed by gunfire."In something reminiscent from the Nazi era, if they don't lie about their families' deaths at the hand of its own state forces, they don't get the bodies back.
      • 17/12/2005
      • 02:56:24
      • Score: 0 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
    • Excellent paper.

      Great use of a varied range of sources to not only answer the demands of the assignment but to integrate it into your own life and experience.
      • 17/12/2005
      • 01:34:53
      • Score: 2 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
    • Question

      What is the good of an essay which has at its basis a source which we, the readers, have no access to?
      • 16/12/2005
      • 04:52:28
      • Score: 2 out of 5 people found this comment useful.
    • Apologies to SerenaDang.

      I teach in China to a lot of rich Westerners who seem to think that their countries uphold everything wonderful in the world. I get very defensive when I read such comments as yours, so I apologise for getting your point wrong. I teach the Vietnam War from 1941-1979 (French, Japanese, French, US, Chinese) and have been to your country so I can only appreciate what you are trying to say.
      • 15/12/2005
      • 23:03:50
      • Score: 3 out of 9 people found this comment useful.
    • Thanks for the comment, pilcomex.

      At Yasukuni's museum visitors learn that U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt restricted energy exports to Japan not in protest at Japan's invasion of China, for example, but because in 1939, he had resolved to join Great Britain in the war, and used "embargoes to force resource-poor Japan into war." Likewise, an exhibit on the "Nanking Incident" of 1937 does not mention the tens of thousands (and perhaps hundreds of thousands) of Chinese citizens the Japanese military slaughtered there in 1937 and 1938. It says only that, "The Chinese were soundly defeated, suffering heavy casualties. Inside the city, residents were once again able to live their lives in peace."And due to Japan's distinction as the only country to have suffered the effects of atomic bombs, many Japanese even perceive their country as one of the war's great victims. The growing popularity of nationalist pop culture, meanwhile, is only reinforcing the lapses in education. In "Introduction to China," a best-selling comic book, readers learn that Japanese atrocities like the massacre at Nanking or the biological experiments on Chinese prisoners by the Imperial Army's Unit 731 either never happened or have been cynically exaggerated for Chinese political gain. And today, the comic claims, China is a leading exporter to Japan of crime, prostitution and disease. "
      • 15/12/2005
      • 22:58:38
      • Score: 5 out of 10 people found this comment useful.
    • Notice.

      Instead of simply rating my comment down, can anyone actualy REFUTE my point? No one rated this terrible essay positively, so how can I get THREE bad ratings for calling a spade a spade?
      • 15/12/2005
      • 07:45:53
      • Score: 0 out of 6 people found this comment useful.
    • SerenaDang

      I notice all your pointless comments read the same: "Reading your essay makes me wanna buy the book."Have you nothing worthy to write, or do you simply want a point? Do you even read the essays you 'comment' on?
      • 15/12/2005
      • 04:06:52
      • Score: 1 out of 5 people found this comment useful.
    • Dreadful...

      If you can't remember which century Rome developed, LOOK IT UP. But don't submit this garbage and expect it to be of any use to anyone. Simple points without any explanation or justification. No dates to grasp the period of time all this took place. Not one person or event referred to. Again: Why (besides the hope for points) did you submit this?
      • 14/12/2005
      • 17:30:26
      • Score: 1 out of 7 people found this comment useful.
    • No more wars and no more My Lai events?

      SernaDang- Are you completely ignorant of what goes on by your country's forces in Iraq this very day?! Does Falluja not register anything with you? You think 500 dead is shocking? Wake up!Thanks trytye for this essay; it shows some need to learn some valid facts.
      • 14/12/2005
      • 08:09:57
      • Score: 2 out of 12 people found this comment useful.
    • How the hell did this get a point?!?!

      The greatest man perhaps in history and you simply offer THIS?!: "He later grew up and moved away from his family and moved to the renaissance area. Leonardo did make journals but they were in code he did this because he wanted to keep his private life well...private. Leonardo later made the mona lisa and the last supper."
      • 12/12/2005
      • 22:52:45
      • Score: 2 out of 10 people found this comment useful.
    • Great Essay!

      Most of the essays here simply regurgitate common knowledge or repeat the same things, but this was entirely original and intelligent. I really enjoyed reading it! Well done, kestrelxox!
      • 07/12/2005
      • 17:50:02
      • Score: 1 out of 6 people found this comment useful.
    • Slivertidus.

      The only comments you ever bother to write are "great work" "splendid" "hope to see more". Have you no advice more substantial to offer?
      • 06/12/2005
      • 18:19:25
      • Score: 0 out of 6 people found this comment useful.
    • Unbelievable...

      I can't believe that here we are, 21st century, and someone in an MEDC is actually writing a 2300-word essay about whether or not miracles are real.Only in the US... Next we'll read if the sun revolves around the earth...
      • 06/12/2005
      • 08:51:48
      • Score: 0 out of 10 people found this comment useful.
    • Postscript.

      It took a night at the ballet last night to appreciate China's record in executions. It got so bad watchingthe Bolshoi's Swan Lake with people talking (I told the first group to shut up behind me only to find everyone talking all over throughout), people constantly streaming in regardless of the time it said it started on their tickets, mobile phones going off or being checked for faults apparently as there was a steady stream of light, mothers allowing their children to run around and, most incredibly for me as a member of the civilised world, flash cameras going off non-stop starting especially during the second act which takes place at night. I was so appalled at such behaviour, not from a couple of peasants who decided to stop off at the ballet before going back home to their farm, but everyone. They all acted as if they were a middle-year group off on a school trip. And these people were awarded the Olympic Games! My girlfriend was damn embarrassed, especially after I'd asked her how she'd feel if Londoners behaved in such an indecent manner during a performance of Peking opera or whatever at the Royal Albert Hall.Then this morning, another hellish trip through the streets to work where no one seems at all interested in paying any attention to laws or common courtesy.To have been such a misanthrope before I came to this place would have shocked me; now it's par for the course.
      • 05/12/2005
      • 20:46:14
      • Score: 7 out of 29 people found this comment useful.
    • Point.

      LBJ was fascinating because he was a deeply unpleasant and bullying man who showed no scruples throughout his career. And yet, he actually used his presidency to do good as you say. Compare that with Nixon's term in office!
      • 01/12/2005
      • 18:31:57
      • Score: 1 out of 9 people found this comment useful.
    • Sources?

      For such a strongly argued and important essay, it's a surprise not to see any evidence or a single source cited apart from a quote, especially at this level.
      • 30/11/2005
      • 04:14:53
      • Score: 1 out of 4 people found this comment useful.
    • Sources?

      By your grade you should know that essays without proper documentation cannot be considered reliable. Nevertheless, a great effort deserving of a positive rating. I especially liked the conclusion offering warnings regarding making sure you actually kill the canny blighters....
      • 30/11/2005
      • 00:17:23
      • Score: 3 out of 5 people found this comment useful.
    • Outstanding analysis.

      A lot of effort went into this work. I would argue that without clear reference to sources, much of your information is arguable and can be legitimately questioned. Very clear and simple to understand; perfect organisation.
      • 28/11/2005
      • 23:51:10
      • Score: 0 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
    • Good analysis.

      But you need sources/references to back up and justify your argument and claims.
      • 28/11/2005
      • 23:06:18
      • Score: 1 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
    • Sources.

      Well argued, but appeals to sources are worthless if you don't list a bibliography.
      • 25/11/2005
      • 09:11:43
      • Score: 4 out of 7 people found this comment useful.
    • Oh dear....

      "Even though he was born in Stratford, he spent most of his life in England "Stratford is IN England!You should avail yourself of Cheathouse's spellcheck, although that won't help sentences like "Shakespeare was very god".
      • 22/11/2005
      • 18:28:57
      • Score: 3 out of 6 people found this comment useful.
    • Outstanding effort.

      Well-written, loads of facts, and tonnes of sources sited at every point. Excellent!
      • 22/11/2005
      • 01:38:32
      • Score: 4 out of 6 people found this comment useful.
    • Proof? Sources?

      You throw in all these ideas which aren't backed up or structured into a coherent argument. Consider:"It has been proven that the death penalty does not deter people from committing crimes."Really? Care to provide us with facts?"The death penalty has been used as a form of punishment since the early 1700's."What has that to do with your previous sentence?"One form of punishment remembered by all was the guillotine, used in the French revolution."It's not being used today, is it? So why do you mention it?etc etc etc etc etc.
      • 22/11/2005
      • 01:05:46
      • Score: 1 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
    • Well done.

      I'm glad to see you in the top ten as you've contributed some very good work. In this case I would ask again for your sources and add that I thought your conclusion came to an abrupt end, such as it was.
      • 21/11/2005
      • 21:53:57
      • Score: 1 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
    • Thanks a lot vijaygoel.

      You gave me some very good suggestions. I really appreciate it!
      • 21/11/2005
      • 21:46:31
      • Score: 0 out of 6 people found this comment useful.
    • Short and to the point.

      You justify why this was the greatest battle in history using tremendous sources. Very useful for mein my history class.
      • 21/11/2005
      • 20:58:20
      • Score: 1 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
    • Good essay.

      But simply writing (Dolan 76-77, 80-81),(Long 125-133) doesn't help unless you have a bibliography with the sources so I at least know which books you're referring to.
      • 21/11/2005
      • 18:38:35
      • Score: 1 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
    • Informative and specific.

      This was a very useful and informative essay for me as I am currently going over this issue in class. However, there is little point in simply writing(Mcintosh RW, 2001) without mentioning the book or providing a bibliography. Compared with the essay's arguments however, it's a small quibble.
      • 21/11/2005
      • 18:15:30
      • Score: 6 out of 9 people found this comment useful.
    • Original.

      Here in Beijing they give people 'jobs' wherein they spend 10-14 hours each day in a lift just to press the button. If you get home at 23.00 you have to climb 16 flights of stairs because there'll be noone there to press it for you and the lift will be closed!
      • 20/11/2005
      • 17:51:04
      • Score: 1 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
    • Evidence?

      Your argument is not valid unless you tell me where you get your points from.
      • 20/11/2005
      • 17:44:04
      • Score: 0 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
    • Sources?

      I would disagree with your assertion that Trudeau was "a thinker, fundamentalist, as well as a man of vision". I feel that his treatment of HM the Queen was practically treasonable. To my mind the Statute of Westminster was the worst thing to have happened to Canada.
      • 19/11/2005
      • 18:45:46
      • Score: 0 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
    • Wow- well done!

      Very well-written with a wide slew of sources. For such a broad topic I cynically thought you would gloss over it, but instead you paid full justice to its examination.My only quibble would be your sources. You write for example "Music is a tonal analogue of emotive life." (Langer)" but who is Langer? He isn't among the sources you mention at the end. What page number? The web pages too are incorrectly sourced. Just writing www.encarta.msn.com isn't enough; you need URL and date accessed.
      • 13/11/2005
      • 08:29:23
      • Score: 3 out of 5 people found this comment useful.
    • Never Forget.

      Although I left Canada for the "Mother Land" as soon as I could, I've always got a tremendous amount of pride in what we did, and would show it by flying the Canadian red ensign on the back of my bike as I'd cycle through France and around Europe's Commonwealth War Graves.Now in Beijing, I teach WWII and make sure my students know its sacrifice.
      • 11/11/2005
      • 22:22:12
      • Score: 1 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
    • That's true.

      You only made it past to second verse? Hope it wasn't you who rated the whole work down, cowgirl...
      • 11/11/2005
      • 20:54:17
      • Score: 0 out of 0 people found this comment useful.
    • Sources?

      I like the topic- very interesting and eclectic here- but what's the point of telling us "A good example of the fourth style of painting can be found on page 96 of our textbook" when obviously we have no idea which books you use? At least edit your essay a bit before submitting them!
      • 10/11/2005
      • 17:55:49
      • Score: 1 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
    • Don't get it...

      Is this written for your school principal or for the benefit of cheathouse users? What exactly are we to get from this? Maybe next you'll submit letters to your grandparents thanking them for that sweater...
      • 10/11/2005
      • 17:51:12
      • Score: 0 out of 4 people found this comment useful.
    • Sorry.

      Maybe it wasn't accepted or something because I checked and it's not there anymore. I do think it's a great work (I remember writing how courlove should look to see how a REAL essay should be written instead of simply plagiarising yet again).I've again gave it a green rating.
      • 09/11/2005
      • 17:58:25
      • Score: 1 out of 5 people found this comment useful.
    • You submitted this LAST week.

      It's a great work, but not one worthy of submitting TWICE!
      • 09/11/2005
      • 17:52:44
      • Score: 1 out of 5 people found this comment useful.
    • Well researched.

      Good work, although I can't believe that Homer (if he wasn't blind after al) really did see Troy. We would have no ideas what Troy looked like in the 8th century BC, and what's left of the site is similar to other such planned ancient cities.
      • 06/11/2005
      • 17:50:39
      • Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
    • Something new...

      Never knew his left pupil was permanently dilated...
      • 31/10/2005
      • 17:52:59
      • Score: 1 out of 4 people found this comment useful.
    • Very good!

      Lots of effort went into this essay; I would certainly be the first to sing Chomsky's praises. BUT there should be a list of sources.You state how Chomsky created some kind of propaganda model in which he exposes how the government exploits the media to implement control over the people, but with no reference to how or where. All your evidence too is unsubstantiated which is worrying for a college essay.Still, I think it's well done!
      • 31/10/2005
      • 04:45:19
      • Score: 1 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
    • Non che male.

      Very good for quick points to review with, but lacking in the kind of analysis required to fully understand Soviet foreign policy at this time. For example, I know the USSR joined the L of N in '34. What did Germany's exit the year before do to influence it? Did it end up meeting the USSR's needs? Just having facts won't help anyone who is required to write proper essays.
      • 31/10/2005
      • 03:24:52
      • Score: 0 out of 0 people found this comment useful.
    • Sources.

      To cite sources as "www.whatis.com" and "www.whatever.com" is insulting and what one would expect from an elementary student.
      • 30/10/2005
      • 17:51:53
      • Score: 0 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
    • Bibliography.

      Simply citing Mintel or "www.google.co.uk" is hardly a satisfactory way of acknowledging where you received your info.
      • 30/10/2005
      • 17:39:13
      • Score: 0 out of 0 people found this comment useful.
    • I agree with Hypermitch88.

      Both in terms of content and need to perhaps devote more time to that second paragraph, particularly in use of examples. Don't know why someone rated his comment down...
      • 30/10/2005
      • 07:57:58
      • Score: 1 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
    • Very useful.

      A good source for my geo class where we discuss the problem, particularly in Botswana where an incredible 40% of all adults have HIV!
      • 29/10/2005
      • 07:18:15
      • Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
    • Great essay!

      I don't agree with this contention (look at the UN's success in disaster aid, literacy, disease control and prevention) but very well researched and written.
      • 28/10/2005
      • 14:33:25
      • Score: 2 out of 6 people found this comment useful.
    • Manutdchick4eva.

      If you thought it was so useful, why didn't you at least rate his essay?
      • 27/10/2005
      • 18:59:14
      • Score: 0 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
    • Good analysis.

      With obesity levels rocketing and three year old who can recognise the Golden arches yet cannot write their own names, a very timely article. Thanks.
      • 26/10/2005
      • 08:44:59
      • Score: 4 out of 4 people found this comment useful.
    • Ridiculous.

      This is a college essay, is it? What colleg gives students 80% for "Despite of strict accounting rules, financial accounting gives opportunities to vary." No organisation, structure, repeated grammar/vocab errors etc. Need I say more?
      • 25/10/2005
      • 09:23:04
      • Score: 0 out of 6 people found this comment useful.
    • Wrong.

      The Empire ABOLISHED the slave trade. It used the Royal Navy to fight piracy and slavery decades before the US emancipated its slaves. Look at the members of the Commonwealth and compare with others- look at its legacy of common law, Parliament, anglobalisation. You wrote yourself- there are 54 VOLUNTARY members of the Commonwealth. I think that fact alone refutes your simplistic bias.
      • 25/10/2005
      • 09:15:20
      • Score: 0 out of 6 people found this comment useful.
    • Aaaarghhhhhhhhh!!!

      It won't even let me have her proper name shown! What's that all about?!
      • 25/10/2005
      • 03:51:20
      • Score: 0 out of 5 people found this comment useful.
    • Clarification.

      Sorry, but the name is Táhirih; when you see it here it's shown as Táhirih.
      • 25/10/2005
      • 03:49:58
      • Score: 0 out of 5 people found this comment useful.
    • Sources?

      Footnotes are rather pointless if the sources aren't mentioned provided this is your work.
      • 24/10/2005
      • 05:54:15
      • Score: 5 out of 8 people found this comment useful.
    • Outstanding effort, but one point:

      The role of religion was shown all too clearly when Hitler used the churches to sanction his destruction of minorities, and Pope Pius not thinking it worth the effort to overturn the applecart by complaining about the 6 million being slaughtered. Useful to inciter social revolution,indeed.Nevertheless, your critical analysis of a wide array of sources and academics is very impressive.
      • 22/10/2005
      • 12:14:55
      • Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
    • Cheers Mehmood.

      I agree with your point, but maintain that by diminishing their sense of self-worth and preventing them from advancing through paying for them to train or learn rather than sit for 10 hours in a lift, it will make the employment structure unsustainable.
      • 22/10/2005
      • 05:03:04
      • Score: 7 out of 29 people found this comment useful.
    • Good.

      But troubling when you spell 'its' wrong in your title but then manage to include a word such as 'recontextualised' in the intro.
      • 22/10/2005
      • 04:56:18
      • Score: 1 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
    • Rebuttal to Daimos.

      I live here. I'm writing from personal experience, 24/7. Maybe YOU should do some research and find out on the Internet what I myself know. In the meantime, don't publically call me a liar.
      • 22/10/2005
      • 01:19:26
      • Score: 10 out of 33 people found this comment useful.
    • Sources?

      Unless I know who are the people you cite and where you get the info, how do I know it's believable, or indeed that this isn't copied from some other site?
      • 21/10/2005
      • 04:04:32
      • Score: 1 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
    • Election propaganda, not essay.

      I think it's disgusting to use this site as a forum for publicising an electoral candidate, particularly when all it is is campaign fluff one reads shoved in mailboxes about one being hailed as having fought the Clean Air Act.
      • 20/10/2005
      • 23:52:05
      • Score: 0 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
    • Far too short.

      Too short to have any real value to anyone. I expect this much on Albania's relationship with China in the 60s alone.
      • 20/10/2005
      • 09:54:19
      • Score: 0 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
    • Ughhhh...

      I can't handle such ridiculous and outdated fairytales expounded by obviously suggestive and naive fundamentalists. Do people in this day and age believe in "workers of miracles" as a job description? It's 2005 now, buddy. Finish High School and join us in the 21st century.
      • 20/10/2005
      • 01:57:59
      • Score: 0 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
    • Impressively-argued paper.

      Timely especially today as PM Koizumi yet again angers all by his visit to the shrine to Class A war criminals in Tokyo.Only concern is the absence of sources...
      • 17/10/2005
      • 09:36:34
      • Score: 1 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
    • Sources.

      Assuming you actually wrote this (I gave you a thumbs up rating) I don't understand your use of footnotes. Your first paragraph has (5), then after the numbers are all jumbled.
      • 17/10/2005
      • 04:09:46
      • Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
    • Thanks for the comments.

      But how should I consider restructuring this essay? Any tips?
      • 16/10/2005
      • 17:51:57
      • Score: 3 out of 6 people found this comment useful.
    • Impressive amount of quality sources.

      Thank you for contributing this essay; it was extremely useful for me in my geo class here in China where we're dealing with the effects on tourism economically, politically and socially.
      • 16/10/2005
      • 10:09:52
      • Score: 4 out of 4 people found this comment useful.
    • Outstanding.

      The best essay I've seen so far on this subject in cheathouse, Especially well-served by the sources. Good use of personal experience with those found in LEDCs. Very useful for my class. Well done!
      • 16/10/2005
      • 10:02:13
      • Score: 0 out of 0 people found this comment useful.
    • A proper essay.

      Gillian; I've read a number of your essays and they all display high quality and serious research. I'm very impressed!I do think it's early days to suggest diplomacy has failed in North Korea, but we'll see...
      • 15/10/2005
      • 09:07:18
      • Score: 0 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
    • OOPS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

      I accidentally gave this a minus point. Sorry!! I'll make it up to you by rating your other essays.For a grade 5 student I like your use of adjectives and attempt to develop, not only a good essay, but your own distinctive writing style.I hope others will do their bit to offset my minus....
      • 13/10/2005
      • 19:49:03
      • Score: 0 out of 5 people found this comment useful.
    • Well done.

      Good use of facts to back up your report. Clear anaylsis of sound management strategy which incorporates the IB syllabus we have at our school. Excellent example of a paper submitted for a portfolio assignment.
      • 10/10/2005
      • 04:16:34
      • Score: 2 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
    • Terrific.

      I would be interested in reading your thoughts on the Japanese school book controversy which you briefly touch on here. I think it was instructive that the Chinese were throwing projectiles and overturning cars last year during its height, not knowing that these books have been around for years and are used in only 2 schools whereas their histories neglect EVERYTHING. The best example of bias would be their use of such adjectives asw "barbaric" "bandits" etc. which I would never expect to see in any British history textbook.
      • 08/10/2005
      • 22:33:15
      • Score: 0 out of 0 people found this comment useful.
    • WHAT?!??!

      I URGE you to read my complete refutation of the Bible VERSE BY VERSE here at cheathouse and escape from the stupidity of 2000 years of children's fairytales.
      • 08/10/2005
      • 14:04:05
      • Score: 0 out of 17 people found this comment useful.
    • Not enough detail.

      For a grade 12 essay I would expect clear analysis of how EXACTLY Manchuria and Abysinnia led to its discreditation. I would expect sources, and some critical analysis of various sources.On the whole this reads like the information had all been derived from johndclare.net.
      • 07/10/2005
      • 22:40:42
      • Score: 2 out of 5 people found this comment useful.
    • I agree.

      It's terrifying when the most powerful man on earth says such mindless rubbish as 'I'm driven with a mission from God. God would tell me, "George, go and fight those terrorists in Afghanistan." And I did, and then God would tell me, "George, go and end the tyranny in Iraq ..." And I did. And now, again, I feel God's words coming to me, "Go get the Palestinians their state and get the Israelis their security, and get peace in the Middle East." And by God I'm gonna do it.'"It's time we left these 2500 year old fairytales where they belong.
      • 07/10/2005
      • 11:49:09
      • Score: 2 out of 4 people found this comment useful.
    • Thanks for the reply.

      I do suspect that the South which would face a plummeting standard of living for its citizens (compared to the North increasing theirs by 10X) would deter them, for the very same reason the South of Ireland is in no rush to take on the economically deprived North. No one wants to follow Germany's example!(By the way, don't know why my last comment was rated down compared to others...)
      • 07/10/2005
      • 05:30:38
      • Score: 2 out of 6 people found this comment useful.
    • Horrific...

      I can't believe someone would submit an argument FOR this barbaric practice! Consider the words of someone who actually went through this forced unnecessary surgery, and then support this 'tradition':"I was genitally mutilated at the age of ten. I was told by my late grandmother that they were taking me down to the river to perform a certain ceremony, and afterwards I would be given a lot of food to eat. As an innocent child, I was led like a sheep to be slaughtered.Once I entered the secret bush, I was taken to a very dark room and undressed. I was blindfolded and stripped naked. I was then carried by two strong women to the site for the operation. I was forced to lie flat on my back by four strong women, two holding tight to each leg. Another woman sat on my chest to prevent my upper body from moving. A piece of cloth was forced in my mouth to stop me screaming. I was then shaved.When the operation began, I put up a big fight. The pain was terrible and unbearable. During this fight, I was badly cut and lost blood. All those who took part in the operation were half-drunk with alcohol. Others were dancing and singing, and worst of all, had stripped naked.I was genitally mutilated with a blunt penknife.After the operation, no one was allowed to aid me to walk. The stuff they put on my wound stank and was painful. These were terrible times for me. Each time I wanted to urinate, I was forced to stand upright. The urine would spread over the wound and would cause fresh pain all over again. Sometimes I had to force myself not to urinate for fear of the terrible pain. I was not given any anaesthetic in the operation to reduce my pain, nor any antibiotics to fight against infection. Afterwards, I haemorrhaged and became anaemic. This was attributed to witchcraft. I suffered for a long time from acute vaginal infections."
      • 06/10/2005
      • 18:29:32
      • Score: 1 out of 5 people found this comment useful.
    • Please don't steal any more essays

      I noticed that nearly all your submitted essays (many submitted twice, three times, four times) have been copied from other sites. I'm not sure about this one...
      • 06/10/2005
      • 04:20:35
      • Score: 1 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
    • One point.

      For a High School essay, this consists more of personal opinion and less on critically examining other television shows. Without such comparison, it is nearly impossible to substantiate your claims that it is the best of its genre.
      • 06/10/2005
      • 03:52:03
      • Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
    • Very well-written.

      Impeccable sources, well- presented and intelligently written, particularly for one still in High School.
      • 06/10/2005
      • 03:24:35
      • Score: 6 out of 8 people found this comment useful.
    • I agree, Mehmood.

      Not sure how this paragraph merits "97%"...
      • 06/10/2005
      • 03:22:28
      • Score: 1 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
    • Please don't plagiarise anymore

      I found that you had stolen your submitted essay on technology so I don't know if this is copied as well, especially as it has footnote numbers but no corresponding footnotes themselves.
      • 05/10/2005
      • 18:41:15
      • Score: 4 out of 5 people found this comment useful.
    • But essaywriter....

      The life span was low because infant mortality was so high. Of a mother's eight kids, 5 or 6 might die in childhood. But once you survived childhood you would, as was the case for Leonardo, Michaelangelo et al., live to a ripe old age. Think of the ancient Greeks and all those famous names before Christ who lived into their 80s and 90s.
      • 04/10/2005
      • 21:30:10
      • Score: 2 out of 6 people found this comment useful.
    • Clarify.

      Sorry, but what do you mean about the US's "imperial fantasies" and how waht is needed now is 'piety'?
      • 04/10/2005
      • 09:20:24
      • Score: 1 out of 4 people found this comment useful.
    • What about the future?

      Tried sending a comment but each time rejected, so will try one more time... You provided a brilliant analysis of causes and consequences of the division. Think about the future. Do you think that realistically be a reunification of the peninsula? I heard that unification would cost South Korea 5-6 times its GDP. Seeing what happened to Germany's economy after its own attempt, would South Korea see it as a price worth paying especially with all the other questions...Where they will have to deal with one of the largest standing armies in the world to decommission, a nuclear weapons arsenal that would probably end up anywhere in the world; little modern infrastructure to set up in one of the most brain-washed areas which will have to adapt to doing things for themselves in a capitalist system that they have been brought up to loathe.
      • 04/10/2005
      • 08:54:46
      • Score: 2 out of 8 people found this comment useful.
    • Do you study in China?

      It's funny but reading 'That's Beijing' and other expat mags here, there is a listing for a large number of places for gays even though it is officially a crime. The woman who just won the 'Super Girl' competition here (kind of like Stars in their Eyes or Superstar in US and UK) is widely believed to be a lesbian who 'married' another woman!
      • 04/10/2005
      • 08:26:39
      • Score: 3 out of 8 people found this comment useful.
    • Point taken, raddie.

      I agree this is 'pie in the sky' and sans references. The purpose isn't to present an analysis of a critical area of study, but a personal idea in a limited amount of words; to get the idea across more than to persuade either way. But you are right. When you start claiming however that Australia is of more worth than Canada depte the latter's greater size, economy, membership of the G8 and population, then I would respond by questioning your argument. As it is, I give you a merit for your comment.
      • 03/10/2005
      • 06:33:37
      • Score: 6 out of 24 people found this comment useful.
    • Hardly what I'd expect from a college student.

      More what I'd expect from a junior high student. No sources. No facts. All personal opinion without recourse to evidence or research. And for such an important topic,one which is discussed often (and which media studies in college is all about), it merits more than a mere 400 words.
      • 02/10/2005
      • 21:54:01
      • Score: 2 out of 4 people found this comment useful.
    • I agree with Neltharius.

      For a Grade 12 essay, you can't simply write about your opinion, you need to back it up with analysis, sources, and evidence of research.
      • 02/10/2005
      • 21:22:23
      • Score: 1 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
    • Why did I get a negative rating?

      This essay received an A from the IB for extended essays- why did I get a minus from someone here, unless it's from one taking out his anger at one of my comments.
      • 02/10/2005
      • 21:18:18
      • Score: 0 out of 5 people found this comment useful.
    • Hypocrite.

      It's bloody immature to punish those you don't agree with by resorting to ad hominems. Why did you deduct a point from ME, raddie?
      • 02/10/2005
      • 11:08:51
      • Score: 6 out of 26 people found this comment useful.
    • Painful.

      Do you realise that in each of the four sentences that make up your conclusion, you use the root word 'pain'? I notice throughout words and ideas are constantly repeated, such as how each character 'realises' something or other.
      • 02/10/2005
      • 10:55:19
      • Score: 0 out of 0 people found this comment useful.
    • A paragraph, not an essay.

      This is so short as to entertain the question as to why the author bothered to submit it in the first place (apart from the quick points, that is). One would be better served to just go to Wikepedia and get more details than trying to find any especial merit here.
      • 02/10/2005
      • 08:00:03
      • Score: 1 out of 4 people found this comment useful.
    • Outstanding.

      Well-researched with a slew of impressive sources. Living in Beijing UI can certainly appreciate your knowledge of this topic. I recommend Jung Chang's Mao for a cynical view to women's liberation: Mao 'liberated' women so they could provide him with twice the slave labour force.
      • 02/10/2005
      • 03:10:39
      • Score: 2 out of 5 people found this comment useful.
    • Lazy.

      Submitting homework consisting of answers to four questions is not contributing an essay but a lazy way to get points.
      • 01/10/2005
      • 21:16:29
      • Score: 1 out of 4 people found this comment useful.
    • Impressive.

      I very much was intrigued by this essay and the various points raised, from a film history to a study in post-feminist ideology. However, I am still mystified as to what exactly did Shakespeare NOT know.
      • 01/10/2005
      • 11:43:39
      • Score: 1 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
    • Yes, but...

      Nothing here beyond what one would expect from a Wikepedia entry suggests that this merits 95% for grade 11 level. In fact, it is bereft of all but the smallest of details.
      • 01/10/2005
      • 02:20:46
      • Score: 0 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
    • Yeah sophia.

      You're right- I first wrote this up for one of my geo classes I teach and then submitted it as a comment for pekingduck ( a blog for us expats here in Beijing) and felt I might as well submit it as an essay.
      • 29/09/2005
      • 23:29:36
      • Score: 2 out of 5 people found this comment useful.
    • Thanks Mehmood.

      I don't really care either way, but living in China I can't stand the gov'ts lies it uses to justify terrorising a country we in the West should stand up for.
      • 29/09/2005
      • 23:12:44
      • Score: 1 out of 7 people found this comment useful.
    • Outstanding.

      I am very impressed by your use of varied sources and ability to critically compare them, despite the differences in time and purpose. However, might I suggest you spend more time assessing these sources' strengths, limitations,origins and purposes? I love to read Suetonius but at times he reads more like a gossip-monger than a true historian in the same vein as a Thucydides. Could we trust what he has to say about Caesar in that regard, especially after knowing his own political bias?
      • 29/09/2005
      • 22:51:17
      • Score: 3 out of 7 people found this comment useful.
    • Wow...

      I am very impressed by your comparison of really obscure myths with the works of a 17th century playwright. It's left me wanting to know more! One of the most intriguing essays I've read at cheathouse for a long long time!
      • 29/09/2005
      • 12:23:53
      • Score: 0 out of 0 people found this comment useful.
    • OK...

      Reads a bit disjointed and not as a complete whole. It ends rather perfunctory and would be better served with a proper conclusion.
      • 25/09/2005
      • 09:09:48
      • Score: 0 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
    • Lacking.

      Not sure how you can effectively discuss resistance movements without clear reference to the partisans in Italy or Greece or the maquis in France. As it is, far too short a discussion for such a topic.
      • 24/09/2005
      • 12:11:06
      • Score: 0 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
    • A good review!

      There are lots of reviews of this book at cheathouse, so I was cynical about reading yet another. However, this is one of the better ones from the list of sources and the quality of the language you use to make it accessible to the reader.
      • 23/09/2005
      • 19:52:15
      • Score: 1 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
    • Well done.

      What I would have expected from an IB internal assessment, written in a clear, lucid style showing a personal connection to the subject. Although not mentioned in the impresssive list of sources, I assume from reading this that you incorporated a number of interviews and conducted work in the field to flesh out your investigation.
      • 23/09/2005
      • 19:17:35
      • Score: 1 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
    • Rather worthless.

      Far too short and obscure to have been of any use to anyone. Can't believe it was actually accepted.
      • 23/09/2005
      • 10:58:04
      • Score: 0 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
    • What are you trying to pass off?

      "I long had a man in my house that lived ten or twelve years in the New World, discovered in these latter days, and in that part of it where Villegaignon landed, which he called Antarctic France....etc etc etc"I can't believe that one person so far gave this a positive rating, no doubt without even having read a paragraph of it.
      • 21/09/2005
      • 23:39:50
      • Score: 1 out of 4 people found this comment useful.
    • Helpful essay.

      Well-presented incorporating good source material. Written in a clear, easy to understand way.
      • 20/09/2005
      • 23:56:42
      • Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
    • Biased from an American slant.

      The Americans you describe as patriots and freedom-fighters I would describe as terrorists who tarred and feathered and killed their opponents while committing treason.
      • 20/09/2005
      • 23:26:46
      • Score: 2 out of 9 people found this comment useful.
    • Thanks for the comments.

      I agree with all of you. This was an essay written by one of my Korean students whose English is terrible, but worked very hard to write a proper essay for the first time. To be honest, I'm surprised it was accepted...
      • 19/09/2005
      • 17:58:06
      • Score: 0 out of 4 people found this comment useful.
    • Thanks for this essay.

      My grandfather is suffering from the onset of this wretched disease, and so I applaud any time someone brings this topic up to people's attention. Written in an informative and compassionate way. Again, thank you.
      • 19/09/2005
      • 09:24:39
      • Score: 2 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
    • Sorry! I accidentally submitted this twice!

      I'm really sorry about this- it's not even a good essay... I had to refresh my computer page and in doing so resent this.
      • 19/09/2005
      • 07:23:30
      • Score: 1 out of 8 people found this comment useful.
    • I agree.

      People who believe in this day and age in 2000 year old fairytales are a menace to our civilisation. I encourage you to read my complete refutation of the Bible VERSE BY VERSE to sort yourself out while there's still time.
      • 19/09/2005
      • 05:42:44
      • Score: 0 out of 9 people found this comment useful.
    • Lots of info.

      Trouble is, not much critical analysis or organisation into an essay form. You mention the hell these people went through and then decided to simply end by suggesting that after a miracle the siege was lifted. The end.
      • 18/09/2005
      • 18:14:14
      • Score: 0 out of 0 people found this comment useful.
    • Useless.

      How are we supposed to make sense of this "essay" without recourse to the sources you are commenting on?!
      • 18/09/2005
      • 10:44:58
      • Score: 0 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
    • But....

      .. this isn't an essay, Grapey! I applaud your sentiments, but there isn't even an introduction to tell me what this is supposed to be discussing beyond a series of definitions. I could get that from my dictionary. What effort went into this? No topic sentences, no conclusion, just a series of points leading nowehere. That's why it's been rated so low I suggest.
      • 18/09/2005
      • 04:22:59
      • Score: 0 out of 6 people found this comment useful.
    • What we know so far....

      "Quantum Physics: What do we really know?"Apparently little more than 275 words...
      • 18/09/2005
      • 04:13:46
      • Score: 0 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
    • Needs organisation.

      I don't understand why, in this history of Rome,it starts not at 753BC with its origin but at 54 AD, ignoring completely the Republic and start of the Imperial system. In fact you only write (very scantily) about TWO emperors! And you wrote very little for anyone to get anything fromthis info you present, making it less useful as an essay than a visit to Wikepedia.
      • 16/09/2005
      • 20:43:25
      • Score: 1 out of 4 people found this comment useful.
    • We need more essays like this.

      As someone who hates Maths, I appreciate essays like this which acknowledge and celebrate the achievements of mathematicians. I've always been most in awe of the ancient Greeks, especially in their ability to work out the radius of the earth and distance of the moon, all through maths.
      • 16/09/2005
      • 20:37:29
      • Score: 5 out of 8 people found this comment useful.
    • What an intriguing topic!

      An intelligent and rational look at an area that many would simply poke fun at. To see you writing about such a topic in a compassionate way towards people who many treat with contempt is especially moving. I too agree with your sentiments!
      • 16/09/2005
      • 09:08:08
      • Score: 2 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
    • Moving.

      This is one of the rare creative writing pieces that I actually enjoyed reading through. Maybe that's because I felt like I was in Jennifer's shoes, having experienced the upheaval she's going through.One little act, saying so much between the lines... thank you for submitting it!
      • 16/09/2005
      • 09:00:24
      • Score: 2 out of 5 people found this comment useful.
    • Hmmmmmmm?

      Pakman: Would you care to explain why I should "dig deeper" and how that would bring me closer to your line of thinking?I stuck to the facts, not the simple emotionalism I suspect you would have enjoyed reading.
      • 16/09/2005
      • 00:28:20
      • Score: 0 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
    • Interesting take on the subject.

      Personally, as soon as someone starts using Bible to promote a system of rational ethics in 2005, I stop paying any attention.I suggest you read what I have to say in my complete and utter refutation of the Bible verse by verse here at cheathouse.
      • 16/09/2005
      • 00:20:06
      • Score: 0 out of 4 people found this comment useful.
    • Very good.

      This was actually fun to read, given the style and speed of writing. Business essays are usually dry affairs, but this made one actually feel for the team at BA.I always felt that palava over changing the tailfins and back to the Union flag was reminiscent of the mess over New Coke. What a disaster that was....
      • 15/09/2005
      • 06:35:44
      • Score: 3 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
    • I don't understand...

      If everyone's known this is a copied paper since 2003, why does cheathouse continue to allow it to remain?
      • 15/09/2005
      • 06:19:49
      • Score: 0 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
    • Needs much more.

      For an 11th grade essay, I'm amazed that this highly controversial and vital topic merited in your judgement a mere four tiny paragraphs. That alone, and the onesidedness of your argument clearly shows the lack of care you devoted to such an issue which is rather offensive.
      • 15/09/2005
      • 05:55:30
      • Score: 5 out of 15 people found this comment useful.
    • Another WWII essay...

      Actually,not too bad for grade 8 level. Very concise with interesting personal viewpoints. Good attempt at organising the ideas into paragraphs.Although scanty in hard facts, good in breadth. Good effort.
      • 15/09/2005
      • 05:21:05
      • Score: 2 out of 5 people found this comment useful.
    • You should change your title.

      This essay is not about civil wars in general, but simply a brief precis on a particular civil war over 150 years ago in the US.
      • 15/09/2005
      • 03:29:05
      • Score: 0 out of 4 people found this comment useful.
    • Pretty dull stuff.

      Nothing here that you can't find more useful in Wikepedia. Isn't even divided into paragraphs. Not sure how any student would find any particular value in using this as opposed to any other online source.
      • 15/09/2005
      • 03:26:22
      • Score: 0 out of 4 people found this comment useful.
    • Correction

      This is a paragraph, not an essay. One might as well submit one's shopping list.
      • 13/09/2005
      • 09:47:06
      • Score: 1 out of 4 people found this comment useful.
    • Much better effort.

      You seem to have submitted half a dozen essays in the span of an half hour mostly consisting of nothing more than stock definitions with titles beginning with "What is___". Good to see you at least took this topic seriously.
      • 13/09/2005
      • 08:26:21
      • Score: 0 out of 4 people found this comment useful.
    • What?!

      This isn't an essay; it's a series of definitions!
      • 13/09/2005
      • 08:21:48
      • Score: 1 out of 10 people found this comment useful.
    • But where does capitalism fit under New Labour?

      I agree that there is a very great deal of entrepreneurship going on, at least here in Birmingham where new businesses pop up (and disappear) with amazing rapidity. However, what you don't see much of is innovation. When a new business opens, it is usually just a copy of some other business so I don't see the link with New labour as opposed to the previous Tory gov't you mention.It's hard to think of the last time I passed a storefront and thought "Wow, I've never seen that kind of business in Birmingham before", or "That's a different take on an XYZ". It happens, but not very often. I think there are plenty of reasons to explain this you neglected to mention, most of them pretty obvious, such as a social and education system that rewards conformity and discourages originality, only very recent arrival of modern free market capitalism, risk aversion, preference for short-term profits, advantages of quick, portable businesses in a rapidly-changing urban envrionment, etc. If a few basic variables were to change, there could be unleashed a tremendous force under Blair and Brown. For now, the entrepreneurial spirit seems to be channeled mainly into familiar models such as building supply stores, small clothing boutiques, eateries, net bars and the like.
      • 13/09/2005
      • 04:31:57
      • Score: 1 out of 6 people found this comment useful.
    • Lots of valuable info.

      Unlike other economic essays of this type, this appears well-researched with case studies instead of mere theory. You mostly refer to the States, but living in China, I've seen the entrepeneurship that you write of. But thinking about it, there seems to be a large bifurcation of the group. There are lots of small businesses that can support a family or two as you apear to suggest. But it seems that they don't get (or even aim) much further than that. The other group is the one that got funding from somewhere, and plops down a massive store.There aren't many Wal-Mart stores in China, I think. The closest it comes is Guomei. But even with that, he had to court a lot of attention from the state and independent funders. The big growth companies in the States usually attracted these investors because of their efficiency or track record. I think China will get there... eventually. The stock and private equity market needs to get cleaned up.
      • 13/09/2005
      • 04:26:54
      • Score: 1 out of 4 people found this comment useful.
    • Very impressive for a 10th grade essay.

      Especially through the ability to incorporate a breadth of historical knowledge and use it in relation to a specific area, in this case that of Nazi Germany and our own time.
      • 13/09/2005
      • 04:22:53
      • Score: 0 out of 0 people found this comment useful.
    • The role of innovation.

      Kiwi: Are you suggesting in this essay that innovation is an important part of entrepreneurship? If so, I think I can understand what you're getting at.Living in China, I know lots of Chinese businessmen who have started up their own companies here in the mainland, but all of those companies have just copied someone else's idea. None of the companies has found a new market/product/service. Possibly this kind of business start-up is much more common than one which is using new technology/products/services.
      • 12/09/2005
      • 23:27:53
      • Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
    • This is a college essay?!?!

      This is nothing more than a series of questions and answers, and certainly nothing like an essay. Typing out your homework after answering the questions at the end of the chapter is hardly a justifiable basis for submitting it to cheathouse and expecting points or thanks for your efforts.
      • 12/09/2005
      • 23:18:49
      • Score: 2 out of 7 people found this comment useful.
    • Good!

      Very well-researched and organised. I'm particularly impressed by the quality of your primary sources, many from official documents such as the Mollen Report. I also like the way you compare an MEDC such as the US with an LEDC like the Philipinnes.
      • 12/09/2005
      • 20:39:12
      • Score: 0 out of 0 people found this comment useful.
    • I agree.

      Religion and faith in general derived from base emotions outside of any common sense is antagonistic to science in general. Religion has always strove to prevent scientific knowledge, fearful of the ignorant finding that what they were forced to believe all along is nonsense.A good and timely article presenting facts every teacher should be armed with.
      • 12/09/2005
      • 02:43:10
      • Score: 1 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
    • Always felt the US needed to regulate gun ownership in the 21st century...

      At times it seems rather rushed, such as when you write sentences such as "(s)ome laws that favor people against gun possession are that it has the Juvenile Possession Law and the Juvenile Sale/ Transfer Law." At other times you offer information without producing any sources or evidence:"These laws are all ones that should be cracked down by the government to protect all the innocent people who could be affected by the lack of gun control" (for example). Then there are the points you make that are inexplicable to an outsider such as myself. What does it mean for Tennessee to be ranked with a D+ (how is it calculated?) and what exactly is a 'Sensible Safety Star'?Otherwise well presented and good points that provide a persuasive argument.
      • 05/09/2005
      • 02:45:37
      • Score: 0 out of 7 people found this comment useful.
    • Not a detailed study; more a report

      More a point by point report than an essay proper. Nothing explained in full but instead we are to take in faith the 'fact' that the Egyptian gov't took critics' concerns to heart. In what way and to what degree is not even alluded to.Such a case study is easily found in any standard geo textbook, such as Waugh's New Wider World.
      • 29/08/2005
      • 20:18:54
      • Score: 1 out of 4 people found this comment useful.
    • Very Good

      Follows all the criteria needed for a proper TOK essay while incorporating a number of valuable personal observations, showing that you have had personal growth in the study of the question specifically and in philosophy in general.
      • 28/08/2005
      • 02:54:04
      • Score: 1 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
    • Completely Plagerised

      Found this essay on over a dozen other websites, notably http://www.digitaltermpapers.com/a3670.htm and, in its entirety, http://www.essaysample.com/essay/003648.html
      • 28/08/2005
      • 02:47:13
      • Score: 3 out of 4 people found this comment useful.
    • Not too bad

      Maybe needs a bit more work on organisation and presentation (particularly with topic sentences rather than simply stating "one cause was this. another was this. Another was that" etc.)Good use of named historians but perhaps could mention their eras and nationalities for perspective.
      • 08/08/2005
      • 07:37:36
      • Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
    • For No One

      I highly recommend the bok "Revolution in the Head" for in in-depth analysis of every Beatle song recorded- from both a musical breakdown to an interpretation of the more obscure works. Personally, I would be more interested in this case in the background to the song- what was Paul's motivation and intent in expressing the paean to Jane Asher.
      • 01/06/2005
      • 20:11:08
      • Score: 9 out of 12 people found this comment useful.
    • Uhhhhhhhhhhhhh....

      Probably one of the most unique perspectives of literature I have encountered at this level, let alone here at Cheathouse. Having said that, some of your presumptions were way beyond me- how is knowledge self-destructive?
      • 25/05/2005
      • 04:43:22
      • Score: 2 out of 4 people found this comment useful.
    • Is it?

      I checked the link you gave ataf and I didn't see where any of it was copied.
      • 05/05/2005
      • 09:44:28
      • Score: 2 out of 6 people found this comment useful.
    • That's it?

      One of the turning points of imperial history merits in your mind a single paragraph? Shame!
      • 27/04/2005
      • 07:50:44
      • Score: 0 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
    • OK

      Not bad, but suffered from too little analysis.
      • 27/04/2005
      • 06:45:26
      • Score: 0 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
    • Outstanding

      Just rewad a simplistic one-paragraph 'examination'of the power of money in Shakespeare's entire canon,so this was a breath of fresh air. In-depth analysis with evidence of study.
      • 27/04/2005
      • 06:33:01
      • Score: 1 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
    • That'sit, isit?

      You basically devote a paragraph and a half to deal with all the ways money kills as recounted throughout Shakespeare's canon. Are you proud of your end result?
      • 27/04/2005
      • 06:27:10
      • Score: 0 out of 4 people found this comment useful.
    • Good points backed up by sources

      Very good. Rather than simply giving narrative, you then write about events from a different aspect that were going on at tghe same time. My only quibble: You didn't tell me anything I had not already known; how was then the Cold War more antagonistic than anyone had previously thought, then?
      • 24/04/2005
      • 21:08:10
      • Score: 0 out of 1 people found this comment useful.
    • Better

      I think you should avail yourself of the spellcheck on this page because your grammar is terribly poor.
      • 22/04/2005
      • 06:06:26
      • Score: 1 out of 12 people found this comment useful.
    • This is an essay?!

      This appears to have been nothing more than three poorly written essays put together to make a single incoherent essay. This in fact has litle to do with the League of Nations but simply a rambling precis of Abbysinia and Manchurian crises.
      • 22/04/2005
      • 03:54:53
      • Score: 2 out of 12 people found this comment useful.
    • Truly fantastic effort!!!!!!!

      Only crazed American fundmentalists who believe that in eating wafers they are consuming the body of a 2,000 year-deceased Palestinian could complain. You are obviously using the english of the KJV, not commenting on the original Judeaic as some other argued. Outstanding!
      • 21/04/2005
      • 08:17:52
      • Score: 2 out of 19 people found this comment useful.
    • Simple, concise bio of great artist

      A lively account of an artist many fail to acknowledge or give due attention to. His work has been looked at in the full context of his life in a way I don't think has been attempted often enough; instead many simply see it as outside his own experience. Perhaps you could have given more reasons to explain how exactly he can credibly be seen to have revolutionised so many aspects of the art world.
      • 11/04/2005
      • 05:01:10
      • Score: 0 out of 0 people found this comment useful.
    • Interesting topic

      You gave some interesting observations but little in the way of evidence. In what way did they have a lively sense of humour? How do you know? What kind of form did it take? They were capable of "sensitive observation"; that's new to me. Without any examples, I can only take your word for something I assumed otherwise. I understand that they were prone to exaggeration for effect- is this your idea of humour?I'm also not sure what this is for- a visual presentation perhaps. You may choose to organise it in a different way to make its ideas more presentable.
      • 11/04/2005
      • 04:56:14
      • Score: 2 out of 3 people found this comment useful.
    • This is an 11th grade essay?

      I'm shocked that teachers today would allow such disorganised and juvenile writing to pass off as an evaluation of a medium today. Of what value is this 'essay'? All the points are of the writer's sole opinion, none of which is backed up by sources or indeed any clear knowledge of historical writings. No reference to anything outside of what could have been expounded in any pub. I am not sure what the purpose was for such a piece, but I certainly would not consider it as worthy of a pass in my class.
      • 06/04/2005
      • 09:16:36
      • Score: 3 out of 7 people found this comment useful.
    • Stuff and nonsense

      The Bible is an important book because idiots like Bush uses it to kill others. That is why it must be discredited at all times. Anyone who believes in 4,000 year old fairytales and declares that they have the truth as transmitted to them by talking snakes and such-like must be riduculed. I suggest you start by reading my refutation of Genesis here at Cheathouse and then look at my other verse by verse rejections of each biblical book.
      • 06/04/2005
      • 07:00:37
      • Score: 2 out of 25 people found this comment useful.
    • Good effort

      Very good analysis using a variety of sources and perspectives. A good general overview of a rather challenging topic given its period, and one that i would consider using as a model to my history students.
      • 05/04/2005
      • 08:52:11
      • Score: 0 out of 0 people found this comment useful.
    • Good analysis of a controversial topic

      Very impressed by the depth of information in this article. I myself have often likened the loss of Roman identity in the West to the incorporation of Visigoths and like who proceeded to remake Europe in their own image. Should Turkey join the EU, what would the concept of Europe remain? You might consider the case of Canada, another Commonwealth country and the prototype for a 'multicultural' country. Their idea of promoting this system is 'Folklorama', where various pavilians celebrate national stereotypes; therefore we acknowledge the pasta-eating Italian-Canadians, the lederhosen-wearing German-Canadians, the kilt-wearing Scotch-Canadians and so on, forgetting negative aspects of each culture and ignoring any true Canadian identity.
      • 04/04/2005
      • 01:32:53
      • Score: 3 out of 5 people found this comment useful.
    • Good use of various sources

      Very good use of various historians to provide an overall view of the subject. My only quibble would be that it serves as a mere outline for their views and doesn't go into the depth required for a true analysis of these opinions. Furthermore, by organising the essay into "He says this, he says that, this guy says this..." it moves away from the thrust of the argument and again, analysis of each point is therefore necessarily limited.
      • 31/03/2005
      • 03:40:59
      • Score: 1 out of 2 people found this comment useful.
    • Well-organised

      Very impressed by your ability to clearly and concisely present what could be an especially difficult topic to explain in such a short work.
      • 30/03/2005
      • 19:48:27
      • Score: 3 out of 4 people found this comment useful.
    • Good effort

      At times the argument was too general (ie: history shows us that... without giving specific historical examples) but I will certainly recommend this essay to my Geo students here in Beijing.
      • 30/03/2005
      • 01:04:41
      • Score: 4 out of 18 people found this comment useful.
    • Nice try

      At times a bit repetitive (repeating "fortunately" to open paragraphs and lacking in any evidence or sources to back up points made apart from copying various works and making them speak for you, but nevertheless a good effort. I would have appreciated knowing what apsect in particular you were dealing with in regards to Elizabeth I's life rather than reading what ended up being little more than a typical encyclopaedia article.
      • 08/12/2004
      • 17:50:28
      • Score: 4 out of 10 people found this comment useful.
    • Detente was when?!

      To claim that "De-Stalinization or the 'thaw' of the Cold War begun, yet it was frozen in 1964 with his own downfall and revived in 1985 with Gorbachev" ignores the most important era of detente- from 1963 (Test Ban Treaty) to 1975 (Helsinki Agreement). How can a period that produced the Harmel Report, the Outer Space Treaty of 67, Nuclear Non-Proliferation Treaty the following year, the landmark SALT I treaty, the various economic and scientific cooperation agrements between the two sides be summarily cast aside? To my mind that was the time of detente, and to label the era of 'peaceful competition' a relaxation of tensions with all the crises (Hungary and Poland, Suez, U2, Cuba, etc...) is notmerely a misnomer, but a distortion of history.
      • 06/05/2004
      • 20:24:57
      • Score: 4 out of 7 people found this comment useful.
    • Just when was detente?

      To say that Detente ended in 1964 and did not begin again until 1985 is a grave error and ignores the most important aspects of the era of detente, most notably from 1968-1975. What about the Harmel Report of 67? Ostpolitik? The various treaties signed from the Outer Space Treaty of 67 to the landmark SALT I of 1972? The economic and scientific breakthroughs in cooperation never before imagined during Khruschev;s time? Is the Helsinki Agreement of 1975 not a part of detente? Certainly to ignore this is to rewrite history.
      • 06/05/2004
      • 20:15:57
      • Score: 4 out of 7 people found this comment useful.
    • Discuss: "bombing Hiroshima and Nagasaki was an immoral act, a war crime against humanity."

      On the whole, a good brief analysis of the different factors at play in determing the rationale for dropping the A-bomb. Some of the points I question (was the A-bomb truly successfully tested during a convention in Russia? I seem to remember it was on July 16 in New Mexico immediately before Potsdam in Germany). In addition, I feel it would have succeeded more with a properly focussed organised argument. Instead, many of the 'paragraphs' were simply of one sentence with little justification or use of examples to illustrate the point.
      • 23/03/2004
      • 08:42:17
      • Score: 1 out of 5 people found this comment useful.
    • Nikita Khrushchev and why Russia is not Evil

      You raised some good points, but I feel you need to better justify your ideas. All too often your writing style seems too "loose" and as a result comes across more as someone chatting informally in a pub rather than as a learned essay.It seems too simple to declare that "the United States could be just as evil as Russia or maybe even worse", especially as nowhere do you actually give examples of American "evil" Certainly your title needs a lot of work.As I am not American I do not assume the USSR was the "bad guy" at all, by the way.
      • 11/03/2004
      • 06:08:24
      • Score: 2 out of 7 people found this comment useful.
    • Why did the United States adopt a policy of containment

      The topic was "WHY did the US adopt containment". I feel that the essay in fact veered off more into other areas without this kept as its key focus. More was devoted to what it actually was than the direct causes that led the US to so radically change a policy they had stuck by since Independence and which required a massive commitment in money and materiel.There are some very ggod ideas and facts presented, but again I feel that it wasn't organised well enough. Instead these ideas generally went all over the place, to be referred to at different points rather than have specific paragraphs that neatly referred specifically to the topic. A good example of this is the conclusion where it correctly summarises that "the United States adopted the policy of containment due to escalating fears over the expansionist foreign policy of the Soviet Union" giving examples, but then veers off into how this "was the first example of containment as US foreign Policy and also stated the intensions (sic)of the United States towards Soviet Union. Although containment was never carried out exactly how George Kennan devised the policy, it was effective when first introduced through the Truman Doctrine and Marshall Plan," points more fitting for an introduction but not adressing the question: "OK, but WHY did they come up with it?"
      • 19/02/2004
      • 17:31:39
      • Score: 3 out of 6 people found this comment useful.